Cross-posted from Mike Malloy
Remember the Heaven's Gate cult? The folks who donned new sneakers, then committed mass suicide so they could ride comet Hale-Bopp to follow the aliens to the Great Hereafter? Somehow, they accidentally left Pat Robertson behind.
Robertson, no stranger to oddball predictions, has now declared that the End of Times might come as early as next week, when a giant asteroid -- presumably guided by Jesus -- slams into earth. Robertson is pretty psyched at the possibility, too, as RawStory reports:
"'I don't see anything else that fulfills the prophetic words of Jesus Christ other than an asteroid strike,' Robertson explained on the 700 Club.
"'There isn't anything that will cause the seas to roil, that will, you know, cause the skies to darken, the moon and the sun not to give their light, the nations terrified on Earth of what's happening. There isn't anything that's going to do that.' He continued: 'We're big enough to draw some of them in. And as somebody said, it's 'blind luck.' Well, it's the mercy of the Lord. But if that mercy ever got lifted, whew.'
"Robertson advised his viewers to 'read what Jesus said' about 'nobody living on the face of the Earth.' 'That's what Jesus himself said!' he advised. 'So, hey, just get ready. Get right. And stay right with the Lord. It could be next week, it could be 1,000 years from now. But nevertheless, we want to be ready whenever the Lord says, 'I'm wrapping it up, and it's time to come home.'"
Don't you wish that the GOP would nominate Pat Robertson for President? Heck, I'd volunteer to run his campaign. But I digress ...
Better not buy any ripe bananas, Truthseekers. And don't worry about paying your taxes, or your mortgage, or returning your overdue library books. It's time to party like it's 1999! Pat says it could end next week! Or ... 1,000 years from now. But, why quibble? Jesus is on his way and he's coming down in a blaze of glory and super-charged sub-atomic particles to blast us all to smithereens! If you follow Hollywood disaster flicks, all signs indicate Armageddon will happen sooner rather than later. After all, there is a Black man in the White House -- even if it's not Morgan Freeman, it is prophetic!
Of course, 'ol Pat just happened to write a book on the subject, titled "The End of the Age," that describes a meteor strike that fulfills the Book of Revelation, thus obliterating all life on earth. So he does have a motive, other than his general insanity, to sell his idea to his Rapture Ready flock.
Does it seem odd, Truthseekers, that Robertson would embrace a scientific explanation for a supernatural event? I mean, if God is omnipotent and all that, couldn't He just extend his holy thumb and smash us all to bits? Or make it endlessly rain again? (Which might be welcome in California right now). Why would He need to hurl a giant space rock to kill us all?
Astronomers surely will be able to "see" the asteroid for weeks before it makes impact, so it will hardly be a surprise attack. Does the Almighty just want to make sure we suffer good and proper before we are all vaporized? And -- why does Pat seem so gleeful about the whole thing?