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Newsflash: New Yorkers don't care what out-of-town bedwetters think.

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As a native New Yorker, I'm sick and tired of lazy quitters like Sarah Palin (half-term governor), Newt Gingrich (dumped his cancer-stricken wife), Glenn Beck (didn't last a semester in college) and idiot teabaggers(who can't even finish a thought) crawling out of the woodwork so they can get all frenzied up about stuff happening in a city they are afraid to drive in.

Seriously, where do these asshat hayseeds get off having an opinion about anything that happens in the city? We're talking about a bunch of sad sacks who would soil themselves if they had to ride the freakin' subway. Who cares what they think?

Now I'm used to Republicans whining and squealing like pigs. But now the president has weighed in Harry Reid (D-Gutless) has decided it is high time to strap on his knee pads? What reason could he possibly have to voice an opinion about local zoning ordinances in New York City? Is this some eleven-dimensional chess strategy designed to appease the wingers in Nevada who aren't voting for him anyway? What's next? Seeking an endorsement from Orly Taitz to show he is bipartisan?

Fer cryin' out loud. This is getting out of hand. I think we should have a simple standard before anyone else gets to weigh in on this whole "Ground Zero Mosque" nonsense.

If you want to voice an opinion on the matter, you have to drive in to New York City, park on the street,hop onthe subway, and then go to any of the 28 mosques in Queens, 27 in Brooklyn, 20 in the Bronx, 17 in Manhattan or 8 in Staten Island so you can hold a press conference out front of said mosque explaining why one more mosque in the city is the end of civilization as we know it.

I'm making this as easy as I can. They can hold this press conference during daylight hours. I'm not expecting them to do anything crazy like, God forbid, use the subway after dark or anything. These thumb suckers would have to wear adult diapers so as not to mess up the fine plastic seating if they did that. I realize that is a challenge even Republican Senator David Vitter could meet, but that just goes to show how low I'm setting the bar here. Any lower, and we'd have to dig a hole to locate it.

Of course all that effort might be for naught, so let me add one more condition. Before any more obtuse opiners want to toss in their two cents, I think they should pay for a survey of New Yorkers answering the following question:

Do you care what people from out of town say about the way New Yorkers act?

We all know what would happen with that poll. They would shove it so far down the throat of these milquetoast meddlers, they'd have to stand for it because they wouldn't be able to sit.

Speaking of standing for something... Hizzoner Da Mayor already weighed in on this issue weeks ago. He told the whiners to save the drama for their mama because whining about this was annoying the hell out of the adults. As far as I'm concerned, when a New York City Jew is saying loud and clear that this mosque can be built wherever the congregation wants, the only sound you should hear after that is the fat lady singing. And the name of that tune will be "Hey Harry and Sarah, who the hell asked you?"

Speaking of Sarah, honey.... I don't want you to wet your pants, but I think someone should tell you there is already a mosque near the WTC site, dontchyaknow? Also. *wink, wink*


A message from Lady Liberty to all the bedwetters out there. by henry porter

 

For starters, I am not the Henry Porter who writes for the Observer in Britain. I'm a native New Yorker living in Maryland. I used to believe knowledge was power. Now I know knowledge translated into action is power.

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was pleasant. Thank you!... by Rachel Gladstone-Gelman on Tuesday, Aug 17, 2010 at 10:51:52 AM
When this community center/mosque controversy firs... by Paul Karsh on Wednesday, Aug 18, 2010 at 1:19:29 AM