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Naked and Unashamed

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Source: Mike Malloy


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Finally, a church we can all get behind ... so to speak. A clothing-optional place of worship where the congregation can gather, naked and unashamed, just like Adam and Eve before The Fall. Why wait for the rapture to lose your earthly garments when you can worship unencumbered by earthly garments today!?

Pastor Allen Parker told ABC 13 that many of Jesus' most important moments happened while he was naked, the Huffington Post reports...

"'When he was born he was naked, when he was crucified he was naked and when he arose he left his clothes in the tomb and he was naked,' he said. 'If God made us that way, how can that be wrong?'

"Katie and Robert Church even got married here -- with Robert saying his vows in the nude. The couple told NBC 12 that White Tail Chapel lacks the "pretense" sometimes found at other places of worship.

"'People are more open as far as hearing the word of God, and speaking the word of God,' said Robert. He explained that nudity is a great equalizer, as it becomes impossible to judge someone based on their expensive or shabby clothes if they simply aren't wearing any."

Amen and Amen, Brother Parker! Some make a similar argument about school uniforms, from a slightly more modest perspective. Similarity being a great socioeconomic equalizer.

More traditionally-clothed christian religious leaders are making news with "skype" exorcisms and warnings about the evils of "Obamacare." In North Carolina, televangelist Rick Joyner warns that Obamacare will lead to a second Civil War, as we are enslaved by this government program. Raw Story reports:  

"'Signs are strong that if we are not soon drawn back together as a nation, we will be torn apart,' wrote Rick Joyner, executive director of MorningStar Ministries. Citing Karl Marx, the dominionist preacher argued that a passionate minority could rule over an indifferent majority -- just as during the American and Bolshevik revolutions and the American Civil War.

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"'The basic issue dividing us continues to be slavery,' Joyner argued. 'This is not about a single people group being enslaved, but whether we will all become slaves of the state or remain a free people.'  Joyner argued that Obamacare 'is the single biggest power grab in American history, and if fully implemented, could result in the worst tyranny ever. Just as rat poison is 98 percent food and only 2 percent poison, ObamaCare is filled with elements intended to appeal to almost everyone, but a most deadly poison is sown throughout it.'"

Oh come on ... rat poison? First the grannies marched into gas chambers as the result of death panels, now this? The hysterical hyperbole never stops with these hyperventilating hypocrites.

Finally, there's Bob Larson, head of the Spiritual Freedom Church of Scottsdale, Arizona. The Right Reverend Bob believes that Satanic possession is real, and can be eliminated via the Internet for the mere fee of $295. Thank God for Al Gore, right? Doing the Lord's work by inventing the Internet and all. Scott Bixby, writing for The Daily Beast, describes Larson in action:

"Bob Larson furrowed his brows at the screen. He'd been commanding my demon to tell him its name for about five minutes, and it hadn't made a peep. 'I  torment  you!' he said, for the fourth time, thrusting a silver cross at my head. He held it there, not breathing, waiting for the demon to say something. Nothing. He finally moved the cross out of the view of his webcam and grabbed a small, clear vial.

"Larson is peddling his ancient wares with 21st-century technology: namely, Skype. Using the same camera-friendly combination of scripture, sympathy, and screaming as he has in churches around the globe, Larson can now treat those possessed by demons from the comfort of his North Scottsdale office. The cost of a one-hour exorcism session: a $295 "suggested donation."

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"In 2012, Larson was on the verge of Jimmy Swaggart-level success as a televangelist-cum-exorcist with a Lifetime Channel show called The Real Exorcist -- until an excruciating video leaked of his "exorcism" of a gay man. To most of the world, 30 seconds of this purported exorcism was enough evidence to dismiss Larson's ministry, despite the ritual's relatively mainstream presence in most Christian sects (ever been baptized? Congratulations -- you've had an exorcism). The leak was a blessing in disguise for Larson's ministry, however. The putatively possessed saw something in the groans and screams of Larson's 'filthy, stinking sex-demon,' coming out of the woodwork and pleading for Larson to free them from their afflictions. And they were willing to pay."

"I think I'm gonna use a little more oil..." I wonder if Singing John Ashcroft has shared any of his anointing oil with Larson? Now there's a skype event I would pay top dollar to watch.

 

www.mikemalloy.com

Kathy never expected a career in radio as a talk show producer. Born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia, Kathy was completing her nursing degree when in 2001 - in an emergency - she was asked to fill in as the producer of Mike's program. Within a few (more...)
 

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Sitting naked on the church benches ... gives a ... by labman57 on Saturday, Feb 15, 2014 at 9:39:41 AM