I bond well with the boys, which has nothing to do with why people can't be bothered to turn their cell phones off at the movies. I have spent a lifetime working with, listening to and observing them as if I were one of them. In view of the responses I received to my last article, I thought it might be fair to speak up, for and to some of the men I have really loved over the years.
Men seem
to take to me in ways that defy gravity yield a prenup anything
more than friendship. This has not necessarily parlayed into a happily
ever after scenario, but it has become a source of great comfort, laughter and
fun. Some of these friendships have lasted a lifetime. After
reading this, perhaps you'll understand why. This is for all the men I've loved. Consider it my midweek gift to you.
Warning to men: Your love life may accelerate quickly if I can get the women to play along and read this carefully.
Warning to women: I'm not making this shit up.
WHAT (MOST) MEN LIKE:
Food. This may include but is not be limited to anything from escargots and foie gras to cold spaghetti eaten directly out of the leftover container from that great restaurant, pork rinds and cold cuts that have gotten a little "shiny".
Shelter. Many men consider the sofa to be their second home.
Sex. Alone or with multiple partners. Usually in their minds.
Sports.
Feeling successful about what they have achieved and comfortable in their surroundings. The associated stats, numbers and aesthetics vary significantly from man to man. Not every man aspires to have the wealth of Bill Gates, the taste (or hair) of Donald Trump (thankfully) or the fashion sensibility of Ralph Lauren or Armani. Read that as often as necessary to attain full comprehension.
Being appreciated for their efforts or actions.
Fart jokes.
Feeling heroic on occasion. That he put the glass in the dishwasher and changed the battery on the smoke detector might not seem like a big deal, but if he brought you flowers or went down on you earlier, give him a big round of applause.
Being respected, not only for his accomplishments but also as a human being. If he shaves on the weekends, you can overlook the toenail picking.
Receiving honest compliments.
Sex (yeah, I know I mentioned it before, but it bears repeating).
