F. Rabelais, 1500s
( It is all not real, folks, But you never know:)
1.New banned author. Robert Sheckley, the famous science fiction author is banned in the US because of one short story 'The Guard Bird'. In that story humans unleashed mechanical police birds to protect lives from those who wanted to take those. The birds would strike the presumed assailant with electric shock and if he persists- they could even kill him. At first it was OK, the murder rate dropped. But then the birds defined life as anything that moved and functioned. They started to kill farmers to protect crops and people for switching off lights or turning off cars. Desperately, the engineers unleashed new flying machines, the Hawks with only one purpose- to KILL the birds. Eventually the Hawks found out that there were other creatures to KILL too. The book is banned in the US.
2. In the new apocalyptic scenario 'Zombie-land' on the Discovery channel the dead people rule the world and watch the TV- series 'Walking Humans'.
3. In the TV -series 'Life After Humans' two new topics are repeatedly perceived:
-that with time the environment without humans becomes more and more suitable for humans
- that even in 300 years after humans the Israeli and Arab dogs will still fight for the territory in the former Jerusalem
4. Ambassador Susan Rice when asked about the events in Benghazi paraphrased her boss, Hillary Clinton:
- He came, we screwed, he died.
5.The CEO of one of the biggest banks when questioned in Congress invented a new English word- IDONOTRECALL.
6. New order of inauguration. According to some sources President Obama will be delivered to the Inauguration Ceremony by a drone. The drone then will barrage over the site just in case.
7.Following Edgar Poe. As Congress and President prepare to squander Medicare and change the eligibility age to older, the program will now have a new name-Nevercare.
8. Foreign policy. President Obama is going to nominate a new Secretary of State. That most likely will be his old Secretary- Bird.
9. Compromise. As people in Washington are pushed to compromise about the fiscal cliff, they have decided to follow suit: all Dems had decided to quit their party and join the GOP.
10, Victorious Feminists. Apparently a big % of women was elected to public offices at the last elections. In Congress they will form the feminist caucus. Their first bill is called 'Don't ask, Don't tell' bill, which will forbid to define gender in any way, ask about it, whatever. The words like 'man', 'woman', 'boy', girl', etc. are to be abolished. All peoplle will be called ' persons'. Mankind will be renamed into Personmean.
To laugh is proper for a man. Laugh with me, folks.