Former President Bill Clinton: Hello, you little weasel. Long time, no
see. You look like something the cat dragged in.
Interpreter: President Clinton greets our glorious, exalted leader and
comments on your good health and excellent appearance.
Kim Jong-il: Tell Clinton to cut the crap so we can chat about those two
hottie reporters we nabbed.
Interpreter: His excellency asks for your views on our two new guests.
Clinton: Tell the little weasel to let them go or we'll nuke him back to
the Stone Age.
Interpreter: President Clinton inquires about the health and well-being
of our two new guests and says they might be happier back in USA.
Kim: Ask him what his imperialist Obamaniacs will pay for them to be
Interpreter: Our glorious leader asks how you and America will show
your friendship with our exalted nation should we free the reporters.
Clinton: How about this -- we don't nuke you and we give you a few
billion bucks worth of food aid so you can feed your starving people.
Interpreter: President Clinton offers most generous assistance to our
exalted nation and the glorious North Korean people for goodwill.
Kim: Tell Clinton we have to have our nuclear program left alone.
Interpreter: Our exalted leader states that our scientific research
activities must be allowed to continue unhampered by the USA.
Clinton: Tell the little weasel that he can shove his missiles where the
sun doesn't shine.
Interpreter: President Clinton states that our glorious nation will be
allowed to continue developing our nuclear weapons at night.
Kim: Now, what the Hell does that mean? Who does Clinton think he
is, the Dalai Lama? Tell him this: no nukes, no free hotties.
Interpreter: Our great leader says that we must be left in peace to
follow the paths of peace, as it is written and as it must be done.
Clinton: All right, we'll give him some breathing space before we take
away his pretty nuclear toys, which don't work anyway.
Interpreter: President Clinton says our weapons program can move
forward without American interference, at least for the present.
Kim: Tell him it's a deal, the hotties can leave, but if he renegs, we
will snatch Hillary the next time she shows up here.
Interpreter: Our glorious leader has graciously consented to the
release of the two spying reporters, into your custody, Mr. President
Clinton: Tell him he's doing the right thing, for once in his miserable
Interperter: President Clinton thanks our exalted leader, may he live
forever, for his kindness to the two spying reporters.
Kim: Tell Clinton that horse manure smells the same here as in the
USA, and he can send me some more American movies to seal the
Interpreter: Our exalted leader wishes all the best to President Clinton
and his charming wife, the Secretary of State; come back anytime.
Clinton: I'll come back here when this is a free and democratic nation
and the little weasel is pushing up the daisies. Don't tell him that.