August 5, 2009 at 02:33:30

It's All a Matter of Interpretation!

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By Eugene Elander (about the author)

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For OpEdNews: Eugene Elander - Writer

The inside story of the release of American Reporters Ling and Lee from a North Korean prison; it's all a matter of interpretation --

Former President Bill Clinton: Hello, you little weasel. Long time, no
   see. You look like something the cat dragged in.
Interpreter: President Clinton greets our glorious, exalted leader and
   comments on your good health and excellent appearance.
Kim Jong-il: Tell Clinton to cut the crap so we can chat about those two
   hottie reporters we nabbed.
Interpreter: His excellency asks for your views on our two new guests.
Clinton: Tell the little weasel to let them go or we'll nuke him back to
   the Stone Age.
Interpreter: President Clinton inquires about the health and well-being
   of our two new guests and says they might be happier back in USA.
Kim: Ask him what his imperialist Obamaniacs will pay for them to be
   released.
Interpreter: Our glorious leader asks how you and America will show
   your friendship with our exalted nation should we free the reporters.
Clinton: How about this -- we don't nuke you and we give you a few
   billion bucks worth of food aid so you can feed your starving people.
Interpreter: President Clinton offers most generous assistance to our
   exalted nation and the glorious North Korean people for goodwill.
Kim: Tell Clinton we have to have our nuclear program left alone.
Interpreter: Our exalted leader states that our scientific research
   activities must be allowed to continue unhampered by the USA.
Clinton: Tell the little weasel that he can shove his missiles where the
   sun doesn't shine.
Interpreter: President Clinton states that our glorious nation will be
   allowed to continue developing our nuclear weapons at night.
Kim: Now, what the Hell does that mean? Who does Clinton think he
   is, the Dalai Lama? Tell him this: no nukes, no free hotties.
Interpreter: Our great leader says that we must be left in peace to
   follow the paths of peace, as it is written and as it must be done.
Clinton: All right, we'll give him some breathing space before we take
   away his pretty nuclear toys, which don't work anyway.
Interpreter: President Clinton says our weapons program can move
   forward without American interference, at least for the present.
Kim: Tell him it's a deal, the hotties can leave, but if he renegs, we
   will snatch Hillary the next time she shows up here.
Interpreter: Our glorious leader has graciously consented to the
   release of the two spying reporters, into your custody, Mr. President
Clinton: Tell him he's doing the right thing, for once in his miserable
   little life.
Interperter: President Clinton thanks our exalted leader, may he live
   forever, for his kindness to the two spying reporters.
Kim: Tell Clinton that horse manure smells the same here as in the
   USA, and he can send me some more American movies to seal the
   deal.
Interpreter: Our exalted leader wishes all the best to President Clinton
   and his charming wife, the Secretary of State; come back anytime.
Clinton: I'll come back here when this is a free and democratic nation
   and the little weasel is pushing up the daisies. Don't tell him that.

Author's Biography Eugene Elander has been a progressive social and political activist for decades. As an author, he won the Young Poets Award at 16 from the Dayton Poets Guild for his poem, The Vision. He was chosen Poet Laureate of Pownal, (more...)

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