I'm Told Republican's Haven't Been In Charge?!

Can Someone Out There on the Right Help Me Please? (satire)

Can someone out there on the right, tell me just when they were in power? Were they EVER In control of our country?

I seem to be hearing so much about the Evil Bill Clinton, and the Dastardly Al Gore. And the 2006 Congressional culpability. It would seem that the Democrats have been in power for years. And it looks like Barack Obama had a hand in it all. He’s the ONE. Responsible that is.

Can you tell me if Conservatives have EVER been in control of the House? The Senate? It would seem that this has never been the case. That they have never written legislation, filibustered, or rammed through laws suspending the 4th and 5th Amendments. Those dangerous Democrats should be held accountable!

It does seem rather odd, but it appears that there hasn’t been a Republican President since Lincoln. Or do I recall something about an some actor guy? He might be dead now, but I’m not sure anymore. The Democrats have totally confused me.

I guess Right Wing Neo-Cons never had full control of our Judicial branch either. Or the Department of Defense, or the NSA, DHS, FEMA, and the rest of the ABC soup.

There has obviously been so many outrageous, expensive, and pointless investigations by the Democrats. Don’t you remember a blue dress being on the news once or twice? The Dems started that too. And you’ve got to wonder why they fired all those attorneys, and have you noticed how they won’t answer subpoenas‘? All the time “claiming” executive privilege. Just who do those Lefties Think They Are?

It’s confusing. It seems that Democrats have really screwed the country up. Deregulation of our economy, wild foreign borrowing (maybe Al Gore did this), roll back of our environmental regulations. Oh and the worker safety stuff. Sure wish the Dems hadn’t done away with those. Next thing you know there will be bridges falling down, and cities drowning.

And the occupation of Iraq? What were those Democrats thinking? Didn’t they know it would be a quagmire? And all that Democratic legislation to spy on Americans! I’m indignant I tell you! Harrumph!

Those torturing, war mongering, bomb dropping soldier and civilian killing Demo Rat Bastids…

Damn those lefties, giving all that money to Wall Street! And those TAX CUTS during our war. How did they think we were going to pay for it.

Oh, there was all the free trade stuff too. Jobs gone industry collapsed. The Conservative had NOTHING to do with ANY of THAT.

Did I mention all those secret Democratic Presidential Directives? And whooee do those Dems know how to use a signing statement. Kinda awesome when you think about it. Of course, I try very hard not to think about it at all.

Gotta wonder why people are so agitated against the Republicans. They haven’t been powerful since, since, well since I don’t know when.

At least I could still buy my new shotgun.

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