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July 26, 2009 at 07:48:20

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Promoted to Headline (H3) on 7/26/09:

Holder Joins Conyers in Demanding Action

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By David Swanson (about the author)     Page 1 of 1 page(s)

opednews.com     Permalink

For OpEdNews: David Swanson - Writer

House Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers has called on Attorney General Eric Holder to open a criminal investigation into the misdeeds of former president George W. Bush and former vice president Richard B. Cheney.

Holder, in turn, has now called on Conyers to open impeachment proceedings against former head of the Office of Legal Council Jay Bybee, now a judge in the Ninth Circuit.

Conyers, in response, has demanded that Holder open a complete investigation of 14 different areas of criminal enterprise and appoint an independent counsel, offering a list of eight possible candidates.


Holder, in reply, has insisted that Conyers reissue all of the subpoenas his committee has failed to enforce over the past two and a half years and use the Capitol Police to enforce them at once.

In response, Conyers' office has issued a new report on the need to weed out corruption and undo politically motivated prosecutions by the U.S. Department of Justice.

This morning, the attorney general remarked at a televised press conference, "Chairman Conyers proposed five months ago to extend to 10 years the statutes of limitations on crimes allegedly committed under the previous administration.  Introducing a bill might be a way to begin making that happen.  Just an idea.  I'm no expert."

Surprisingly, John Conyers removed a large Easter bonnet that had been disguising him, stood up in the back of the room and shouted: "Mr. Attorney General, the former vice president of the United States confesses to authorizing torture every time he leaves his house.  You are required by law to indict him.  Are you waiting for Marc Rich's permission?"

Attorney General Holder cut him off, declaring from the microphone at the podium: "The distinguished gentleman has spent the past three years refusing to enforce subpoenas or attempt impeachments, making a laughing stock of one branch of government, and now wants another branch to act on the basis of his reports as if we can't do our own thinking and must employ the U.S. Congress as a think tank.  Does he imagine we don't know that torture is against the law?"

Conyers, age 80, stood on a chair and announced: "Mr. Attorney General, the vice president's house is about two miles across the river and I would be delighted to point it out to you."

Holder appeared to consider this momentarily before replying: "Chairman Conyers, it has been over a year since you subpoenaed Mr. Cheney.  If you've given your Mapquest directions for his house to the Capitol Police and they haven't found it yet, something must be defective."

"You're scared," was Conyers' startling reply.

"No, you are," was the remarkable response from the attorney general.

The press conference continued to degenerate, and recounting the rest would serve no clear purpose other than embarassment.

 

David Swanson is the author of the upcoming book "Daybreak: Undoing the Imperial Presidency and Forming a More Perfect Union" by Seven Stories Press and of the introduction to "The 35 Articles of Impeachment and the Case for Prosecuting George W. (more...)
 

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author
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This is great stuff! by Don Smith on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 10:17:34 AM
Are they afraid? Are they beholden? by Tim Riley on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 1:09:40 PM
Is this a political satire? by Nathan Nahm on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 1:33:00 PM
Do Miracles Really Happen??? by William Cormier on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 1:49:01 PM
Is this a political satire? by Nathan Nahm on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 1:59:30 PM
Is this a satire? (The first paragraph of my comment) by Nathan Nahm on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 2:11:41 PM
well... by Ben Marble, M.D. on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 3:25:17 PM
Harry Reid Too... by Ed Encho on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 4:59:38 PM
Conyers/Holder put the nation in dire straits-permanently by Gene Cappa on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 7:58:45 PM
Many US Officials Claim to Rule by Divine Right by Jason Paz on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 10:24:28 PM
Fool me once by Nick van Nes on Sunday, Jul 26, 2009 at 10:32:46 PM
WHY THERE WILL BE NO INVESTIGATION INTO TORTURE by WML on Monday, Jul 27, 2009 at 2:29:05 AM
WHY THERE WILL HAVE TO BE AN INVESTIGATION INTO TORTURE by Nick van Nes on Monday, Jul 27, 2009 at 7:52:41 AM
video by Cheryl Biren on Monday, Jul 27, 2009 at 3:57:01 AM
Conyers Blocked Impeachment & Is Blocking Investigation by John H Kennedy on Monday, Jul 27, 2009 at 12:56:37 PM

 
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