Good Ol' John vs. the Big O

I like John McCain. I honestly do. He seems like a nice guy, and I respect the service and sacrifice he has paid his country.

Sure, it was a bit inappropriate when he sang "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran"- to the tune of the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann," but it was also kinda funny, and in my book, a bit inappropriate always takes a back seat to funny.

Even though I like him as a person, though, I won't be voting for him.

There are three major issues that I disagree with McCain about, and each one is pretty much a deal-breaker for me. The three of them together are damning.

1) John McCain is against abortion except in the cases of rape, incest or danger to the life of the mother

As a card-carrying militant feminist bee-otch, it really galls me when guys try to legislate abortion. You will never be pregnant, ergo; you have no say in this issue. I, in turn, will never make any sort of judgment for or against anyone who has chosen to dodge the draft. Deal?

2) He's perfectly happy to continue the war in Iraq, with no timeline for the U.S. to leave

McCain was quoted as saying it would be fine with him if the U.S. stayed in Iraq for 100 years, if that's what it took. To be fair, he clarified this position by saying that what he means is that it would be okay with him if the U.S. were to achieve peace in Iraq and then maintain a military presence similar to the military bases the U.S. maintains in Japan, Germany and South Korea.

But that's not okay with me. Can someone give me a good reason why the U.S. continues to maintain a military presence in Germany and Japan? Are we supposed to post people all over the world so that we can keep a patronizing, god-like eye on the whole planet?

It's obviously in our interest to have a military presence in South Korea right now so that we can keep tabs on Kim Jong Illin'. But since Iraq isn't a likely aggressor against the U.S., why stay there for decades? McCain says it's so we can keep an eye on al Quaeda. Newsflash, dude: al Quaeda is also recruiting and training in--get ready for it--Afghanistan, Algeria, Bosnia, Chechnya, Eritrea, Kosovo, the Philippines, Somalia, Tajikistan, Yemen, the U.S., Germany, Pakistan and Kosovo. There are likely other countries as well, we just don't know for sure. We also don't know where al Quaeda's headquarters is at the moment. Would it be a good idea for the U.S. to have spies in all those countries? Sure! But a military presence? Uh, no.

3) He's just itching to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge preserve

Look, even as a hippie tree-hugging dirt-worshiper, even I will admit that there's the possibility that drilling in the ANWR might not disturb as much as a single Porcupine Caribou. But it's a WILDLIFE REFUGE. It was set aside specifically for the purpose of not being touched. Can't we leave ANY spot of land just be on this planet?

Besides, oil is past its expiration date in this messed-up rat-race for fuel. It's time to start concentrating on sustainable forms of energy.

Then there's Barack Obama. There are several reasons I will be voting for him, reasons both important and less so, reasons that go beyond the fact that he's incredibly intelligent, articulate, willing to sit down with any world leader to discuss any issue and has a drive to get the national debt back under control. Those reasons include:

He'd be the first non-white guy in the White House. (If he's elected, can we call it the Brown House?)

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