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GOP May Be Required By Law To Post Warning Label

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GOP May Be Required By Law
To Post Warning Label
Dateline:
Patterson, N.J., Sept. 31, 2012

     Atavistic Laboratories of Patterson, New Jersey has finalized weeks of research on hazardous and dangerous materials and organizations. The GOP, they say, ""is more dangerous than tobacco, agent orange,  RoundUp, radioactivity, Vlad the Impaler, Croesus, Viking Berserkers and Genghis Khan's Golden Horde-- combined."" A spokesman for the laboratory suggested that ""Satan himself would be hard put to equal the infernal effects of the GOP."
     The renowned international testing and assessment lab concluded  research after an intensive study of the effects of Republican administrations. "The record is undeniably clear," they say, "thousands  of Americans are pushing up daisies solely because of Republican administrations,  trillions of dollars have been and continue to be funneled into Swiss bank accounts, derivatives, defense industries, and ponzie schemes like bank failures and corporate educational systems."
     A.L. analysis included the banking failures of the 1970's, 1980's, 1990's and the latest, 2008 in what it called an ""...almost laughable ripoff of the government and the American people..." While the single greatest drain on lives and treasure has been the invasion of Iraq, with trillions disappearing into Halliburton and other Defense industries and a million Iraqis dead, here in North America, Hurricane Katrina's effects, combined with a relatively small $6 million cut in levee maintenance funds produced an eighty-billion dollar windfall to GOP-associated contractors and thousands of deaths.
     Further losses included the Bill of Rights, the Geneva Conventions and the Uniform Code of Military Justice, all of which have been rendered inoperative by GP administrations. Cuts in education funding and conversion of the public education system into a corporate-run testing agency have reduced US IQ results 50 points and the average American IQ since the Reagan administration declared ketchup a vegetable and the GOP House declared pizza a vegetable has fallen by half.
     Analysis of published documents established that GOP initiatives have taken ten years off American lives through pollution, herbicides and pesticides, allowances for mining and coal-burning industries and oil drilling and transportation.    
     Apparently stopping at nothing, the GOP policies and industries have turned the Gulf of Mexico into a waste pit capable of producing nothing edible. BP oil refineries in Gary, Indiana continue to dump toxic sludge containing mercury, cadmium and lead into Lake Michigan, the source of drinking water for twenty million people. And, to add insult to injury, the GOP Governor of Indiana recently increased the legal volume of toxic waste BP can dump into public drinking water.
     An anonymous legal expert advised suing the GOP for losses, but the staggering amount of death and destruction can never be compensated. The loss of thousands of young Americans in invasions calculated to generate more terrorists in order to generate GOP profits and a never-ending supply of "enemies" can never be compensated or justified. The deaths of millions of other nations' people in the "War On Drugs" and the "War On Terror" not only has no adequate possible reparation but no historic equal.
     "This level of destruction, extortion and theft is unprecedented," she said. "The lies and distortions fulminated on the American people can never be compensated.  No civilization has ever matched the  unmitigated avarice, ruthless destruction and ruination of principles and enlightened republican government as that burdened and bled by the GOP-- and survived."
     Atavistic Labs final report suggests a warning label be affixed to all GOP publications and products indicating "This reprehensible and extractive organization has a recorded history of being hazardous to health, wealth and happiness not excluding life and liberty. Use is discouraged by or near any living thing."

 

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