Share on Google Plus Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on LinkedIn Share on PInterest Share on Fark! Share on Reddit Share on StumbleUpon Tell A Friend 2 (2 Shares)  
Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites View Stats   1 comment

OpEdNews Op Eds

GOP Calls for National Day of Food Stamping and Lip Pursing

By (about the author)     Permalink       (Page 1 of 1 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It

- Advertisement -
(from Huffington Post article)

National Republican leaders, frustrated by the popularity of President Barack Obama and widespread public support for his policies, vowed today to remain frustrated. The statement came in a rare show of unity that brought together Republican lawmakers, right wing talk show hosts, conservative bloggers, and several people wearing tinfoil hats, wearing roller skates and carrying tea bags.

"We're at a time of great national crisis and the vast minority of American people are clearly calling for us to obstruct, mock, and twist the President's efforts to solve the country's problems," said some official Republican douchebag. "We remain committed to this course of action, which we expect to include snorting, pouting and -- if needed -- a total f*cking fucky f*ck-fit."

To show support, Fox News host Glenn Beck held his breath until he passed out and then fell on top of Congressman Eric Cantor, who had been lying in a fetal position in the corner near former Vice President Dick Cheney who had a paper bag on his head and fingers in both ears. Luckily, the scene was not witnessed by the newly bald headed trio of Sarah Palin, Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter, who had shaved their heads earlier in the day before moving into a cave above the hills of Simi Valley, California to join the tribe of a mumu wearing Norm Coleman.

A calf was sacrificed, There were many furtuve reach-arounds given behind closed doors. Michael Steele was set on fire. The blood soaked into the ground as Senator John Boehner traced the sign of the dollar with the tip of his finger into the dark earth.

"The road is clear", said Newt Gingrich.

- Advertisement -

And then there was only the sky and the smoke and the figure of Rush Limbaugh.

- Advertisement -

Lee Stranahan is a pioneer in digital media who has over twenty-five years of experience in broadcast production, education and independent media.He is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post, blogs about politics and culture at, (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

Go To Commenting

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact Author Contact Editor View Authors' Articles
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Petition to Boycott Kellogg's for Treatment of Michael Phelps

Kucinich's Brave Health Vote Vs. Obama's Failed Promise

VIDEO: The Conservative Case for Medical Marijuana

When Tools Are Free

GOP Calls for National Day of Food Stamping and Lip Pursing

Worse Than Nothing


The time limit for entering new comments on this article has expired.

This limit can be removed. Our paid membership program is designed to give you many benefits, such as removing this time limit. To learn more, please click here.

Comments: Expand   Shrink   Hide  
1 people are discussing this page, with 1 comments
To view all comments:
Expand Comments
(Or you can set your preferences to show all comments, always)
This was good, Lee. We all need a laugh once in a ... by shirley reese on Wednesday, Apr 8, 2009 at 3:08:26 PM