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These days, when I pick up my morning paper, I feel like I'm reading a surreal menu of woe penned by Dante Alighieri himself.
Welcome to Dante's Restaurant
Pick Your Poison
Today's Special
Fire-roasted Russian
landscape with smoked Russians and blackened garnish.
From Our Menu:
(Your Choice!) Muddy-water marinated
Pakistanis or Chinese, garnished with water chestnuts steamed in
septic laced free-range water.
Soup of Poland: AnOpaque favorite spiked with fresh floaters. followed by mud-pie topped with creme-de-misery
Foreclosure Succotash: Bank-baked foreclosure-succotash served with either deep-fried nervous systems or sad salad.
Half-baked Palin-patties: served cold over a bed of wilted locoweed.
(Popular!) Our famous Bankruptcy Burger: Made with meat bred, grown and nurtured on the lush money-green lawns of the District of Columbia!
Unemployment Toffee: Small helpings for the budget minded -- no nutritional value to speak of, but you'll be back for more!
Double-dip Sandwich -- You know it, because you've had it before. by unpopular demand, it's baaaacccck!
The 401K platter: (Sorry. Discontinued)
Afghanistan Quagmire Stew: prepared daily with only meat and ingredients flown in FRESH Daily from US suppliers.
Tea Party Special: A new twist on an old favorite! Tea Partiers pay for and then serve meals to wealthy patrons and go home hungry but convinced they just had the best meal of their lives.
Soup of Poland: AnOpaque favorite spiked with fresh floaters. followed by mud-pie topped with creme-de-misery
Foreclosure Succotash: Bank-baked foreclosure-succotash served with either deep-fried nervous systems or sad salad.
Half-baked Palin-patties: served cold over a bed of wilted locoweed.
(Popular!) Our famous Bankruptcy Burger: Made with meat bred, grown and nurtured on the lush money-green lawns of the District of Columbia!
Unemployment Toffee: Small helpings for the budget minded -- no nutritional value to speak of, but you'll be back for more!
Double-dip Sandwich -- You know it, because you've had it before. by unpopular demand, it's baaaacccck!
The 401K platter: (Sorry. Discontinued)
Afghanistan Quagmire Stew: prepared daily with only meat and ingredients flown in FRESH Daily from US suppliers.
Tea Party Special: A new twist on an old favorite! Tea Partiers pay for and then serve meals to wealthy patrons and go home hungry but convinced they just had the best meal of their lives.
(NEW!) Virgin-Oil Marinated
Shrimp: Gulf shrimp marinated in the freshest virgin oil on the
planet. So tender no chewing required -- they slide effortlessly
down -- and out again.
.
Deflation Souffle': First inflated then carelessly deflated, this souffle' costs less and less each day -- which is good news since you'll also be earning less and less with each passing day.
Deflation Souffle': First inflated then carelessly deflated, this souffle' costs less and less each day -- which is good news since you'll also be earning less and less with each passing day.
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