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Life Arts

Don't go, Jon!

By       Message molly cruz     Permalink
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I urge you to reconsider your decision to abandon your flock. Steven rode in on your shoulders and rides out on Letterman's coattails; big deal. Though we loved and admired him; he'll fade; but so will you, as you're both Vaudeville, basically, and lucky to be alive in the minds of millions of people who have counted on you to sort things out and confirm their worst suspicions about the World News.... but really, who among us has time?

But once you turn your back on your Zenith, like it's nothing to become an icon, which is what you both are in your prime; the heart and conscience of more than one generation will have lost more than your funny face. You will not be forgiven, and no future pursuit will match your humble little half hour show that makes so much sense. So go ahead, step right off that abyss of vain has-beens who shot themselves in the foot, reaching for a step that wasn't there.

We laughed with you at Sarah Palin, walking out on her governorship; but you were elected as well, you must realize; and yours was the tougher campaign, I'm guessing, like Years of waiting tables and stand-up, when all she had to do was wiggle her ass and wave a gun. But your win was potentially for LIFE! Think about Prince Edward, who abdicated the throne in favor of some hussy, and wandered the globe partying on his yacht; a sad joke for the rest of his life.

There's a sucking wind behind Stephen, and I feel it's pulling you with it. It may be the relative sizes of your bulging wallets, that famous measure that has replaced the penis.

We can't count on Colbert to keep slugging from his new throne. CBS could do to him what ABC did to Killborn, and eat him alive put him in the wrong setting. His absurd persona will shrink to nothing on that enormous stage, and what...he'll have a band? Abandon his ironic facade? With whom will he argue if he kills off his alter ego? And he's even a bigger bore than you when he gets 'serious'. Give me a break!

You'll be sorry, and I mean really, do you suppose that you even have the right? You have the ear of at least four generations..... for Life! You know who else gets that?

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The Pope!

Think it over. I wish you the best; but I think you already have it.

Your devoted fan,

molly cruz

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Born in Long Island public school year in Sweden as exchange student, went to Harvard one year, Cooper Union in NYC as Art student. Have two children, one of whom is rock mogul, the other has three daughters, one of whom has two daughters, making me (more...)

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