Share on Google Plus 2 Share on Twitter 2 Share on Facebook 4 Share on LinkedIn 1 Share on PInterest Share on Fark! Share on Reddit 1 Share on StumbleUpon 1 Tell A Friend 1 (12 Shares)  
Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites (# of views)   3 comments

Exclusive to OpEdNews:
OpEdNews Op Eds

Domestic Violence Begins (And Can End) With You

      (Page 1 of 4 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

Touching 3   Must Read 2   Well Said 2  
View Ratings | Rate It Headlined to H4 10/4/14

Author 66255
Become a Fan
  (6 fans)
- Advertisement -

Domestic Violence is a form of abuse that begins with you.

Zero tolerance can only be achieved when we apply the rules to ourselves, and zero tolerance is the only way to create a peaceful way to play. So say yes to zero tolerance, everywhere!

You may feel you already apply this rule to yourself. You may be wrong.

Let me explain.

I was terrified to do it but did it anyway:

When I was a seven or eight year old little girl covered in welts from top to toe I asked my teacher for help. She asked me to prove I had welts right there at the front of the class. I attempted to pull my leotards down in a subtle fashion. I managed to expose a little thigh to her without revealing myself to the other kids. The welts in that area had gone, relaxed back into my skin and blended into nothingness. My cheeks were more inflamed with humiliation than my legs with abuse. She said I was exaggerating and I never asked for help again. This choice, born of this unsupported experience, put me in mortal danger many times in my life.

A lack of action taken by the teacher implied to me that the actions being taken upon me were acceptable.

I was terrified to do it but did it anyway:

- Advertisement -

When I was a young adult I saw a woman beating her toddler in a car parked in a department store parking lot. With trepidatious feet and shaking hands I headed to her car. I scarcely made a sound as I timidly knocked on her window mid-slap. My voice quivered as I asked her if she needed help. I said I often felt exhausted with my kids and wished for help, so wondered if she could use an extra pair of hands. The child's eyes looked at me pleading for help. I said she sure is a cutie, huh? My knees were weak and I knew if the lady had a gun she might shoot me, but that little girl sure needed help so I stood my ground. I hung in there till the mood changed and the child was asleep. By then security had arrived. I went to my car and succumbed to shock and fear as I cried and trembled.

An attack of hatred or outrage by me would have put the child in more danger as the mom chose to justify her behavior.

I was terrified to do it but did it anyway:

A woman was surrounded by four primary school aged rambunctious boys circling her in the airport while she tried to solve an obviously stressful problem on the phone. Her fifth and oldest boy was being forcefully handheld to keep him safe from his own impulsive choices. He was clearly on the spectrum of autism and less than happy. Most of the people near by were eye rolling, tongue clucking, head shaking judgment passers. Some of the others were simply pretending not to see or observing with pity in their eyes. I started singing a silly song to get the four boys' attention and made it into a turn taking game that used real words. This allowed me to "audition" for the role of helper. She looked at me suspiciously then cried at the phone, "No don't put me on hold!" I used the moment to introduce myself and my background with autism and she let me care for her kids while we waited for our plane. She was a good mom with too much to do and in crisis. She kept an eye on me but let her kids be entertained.

As we boarded the plane someone, meaning to compliment me at her expense, asked me if I could arrange to sit near that family so the whole plane need not suffer.

- Advertisement -

Sarcasm and an attitude of inconvenience by the onlookers gathers them into a likeminded gang of haters and ridiculers.

Comedies often capitalize on this as comedians complain about crying babies, and sitcoms show the challenge of sitting next to someone "special".

The problem is as we gather to laugh we are trained to agree. I remember being in a family therapy group and doing some role playing. One of the moms in attendance was incredibly funny. Her humor was very Rosanne show like and full of sardonic comments about her children. They played along. They laughed and responded. And the teenage girl had what others perceived as an unexpected meltdown.

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3  |  4


- Advertisement -

Touching 3   Must Read 2   Well Said 2  
View Ratings | Rate It

Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD is doubly board certified in Neurofeedback and has an MS. She is studying for her PhD in Clinical Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University Global mental health expert Lynette (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

Go To Commenting

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Follow Me on Twitter

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Growing In and Out of Autism

When I was Easy to Rape, it was still Rape

State Dependent Learning: A Teaching and Autism Aha Moment

Dear President: No More Services for Autism Please. Let's Give Power and Education to Parents.

The Abuse of Sensory-Processing Disorder Inherent in Autism

Bill Cosby did us a Favor