(To see photos of a weapons cache, the phone call center at COP Guerro, my suite at the Camp Falcon Hilton, an MRAP, the rural part of Karbdegla, the former meat-packing company where the Tenth Cav has their JSS and a little boy we met out on patrol, go to my blog)
****
As the sun set this evening, I left Camp Falcon in the company of my next embed unit and headed out to spend a few days at the Karbdegla joint security station in the West Tigris area. West Tigris is a combination of urban areas and farmland and of Sunnis and Shia. Our JSS is located right in the middle of the mix, in the administrative building of a former meat-packing plant.
After a 20-minute ride in an MRAP, I got settled in my room and sort of collapsed. It's been an intense seven days since I left SFO on August 2 and the jet-lag and lack of sleep has finally caught up with me. The soldiers here are all very nice and were giving me lots of helpful information about their mission, but my mind just kept drifting away. There's just been too much input to absorb since I've arrived here and it's gonna take me months to digest it all -- but I only have a few days left before it's time to go home and I still have so many unanswered questions left about Iraq that I think that my next article should be called "Dear Abby...."
[My apologies to the ghost of the real Abigail Van Buren for this satire. The real "Dear Abby" is not now in Iraq -- although maybe she should be!]
Dear Abby: What really happened at Camp Falcon back in 2004 when it allegedly blew up?
Dear Explosive: According to the official sources I talked with at Camp Falcon, you've got the dates wrong. It was 2006, not 2004. Wise up. And what apparently happened was that a stray mortar shell hit an ammunition dump inside the wire and then went ker-BOOM. Miraculously no one was hurt. And no, you may NOT have a mortar round to take home with you.
Dear Abby: I'm a journalist and I came to Iraq to report on weapons-cache discoveries in Baghdad. So far, I haven't seen any. Do you think I should try to make a fuss?
Dear Fussy: What are you THINKING? You want to go looking for mortar rounds? Why! Get a life.
Dear Abby: What is your opinion of the new MRAPs? They look top-heavy and unstable. Riding in them feels like you might be starring in "Tokyo Drift" at any minute. They look like someone crossed a freight train with that Swiss Family Robinson tree house at Disneyland. According to MNFI recent press releases, there's been several "non-combat-related" deaths recently -- possibly caused by MRAPs? And what if I'm in one and need to get out and the power has failed and I can't get the door open. What should I do?
Dear M-Rapper: My advice to you is to stay out of war zones and stick with your 1990 Toyota.
Dear Abby: With this new war happening between Georgia and Russia, will the Georgian troops stationed in Iraq now go home? And does this mean that Bush, Cheney and them are trying to get us into another Cold War with Russia?
Dear Ray Charles: You got to much Georgia on your mind. Move back to Chechnya.
Dear Abby: I'm out here in the West Tigris section of Baghdad in a joint security station with the Tenth Cav Buffalo Soldiers, and there isn't any running water. How will I brush my teeth?
Dear Bad Mouth: If you went over to Iraq expecting the Hilton, you're expecting too much from a war-battered country. Give it time. Both the Americans and the Iraqis are working on establishing indoor plumbing and it will probably happen within the next year or so. But in the meantime, man up and use Perrier.
Dear Abby: Someone just e-mailed me that it was wrong to force the Iraqis to use their oil money on reconstruction. "You are making an occupied country pay for its own occupation." he said. What do you think?
Stillwater is a freelance writer who hates injustice and corruption in any form but especially injustice and corruption paid for by American taxpayers. She has recently published a book entitled, "Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips For Touring Today's Middle East". According to Ms. Stillwater, "It's a fabulous and entertaining book. I loved writing it. And I hope that you will love reading it too." It's available at http://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Own-Flak-Jacket/dp/0978615719 or you can special order it at any independent bookstore.
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