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Life Arts

Bodhi Bit--Healing Attitudes to Soul Force

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Headlined to H3 8/23/09

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By Grant Lawrence

In my work as a counselor to children and teens, I have found certain attitudes to be helpful for healing.

Sure there are a lot of attitudes the kids can adopt to help them deal with issues of poverty, abuse, addictions, depression, anxiety, self-mutilation, suicidal ideation, and a seemingly never ending list of problems that they have to face. I look for ways to point to them and I try to have the kids entertain certain attitudes that can help them deal with their present problems.

But, the healing attitudes I am going to discuss here are the ones that I try to put into practice so that I can be of the greatest service to others. I have discovered that I am more successful in my work if I can first get my head on straight by daily embracing these attitudes.

I try to practice these attitudes daily so that I can better help others heal.


  • An Attitude of Love and Compassion
There is not too much that needs to be written on the power of Love other than it needs to be put into practice. Once we activate it in our lives, we will discover that Love can do some amazing things. Mainly, Love requires an open heart and an open mind so that it can blossom in us.

  • An Attitude of No Self or Ego
This attitude I have found to be hardest to implement.

The Self is an insidious little devil since its wants and desires pop up in our heads all of the time. Not only that, but the Self is always looking for glory and it measures the respect and adulation it gets or doesn't get. The Self wants to be Loved but doesn't take the time to Love. It is built on the illusion of an infinite body and personality that is separate from the rest of Life. The illusion of a separate, eternal Self I have found to be the hardest to move past.

Fortunately, I have also found that if I am able to move beyond my own, often silly, thoughts and desires for Self then I am able to better help others. This understanding often motivates me to move past my own Self-Focus.

The focus on Self gets in the way of awareness and correct understanding so that helping others is more difficult. Moving beyond that Self-Focus allows for a greater connectedness and empathy with others so that we can make better choices to help in healing.

  • An Attitude of Patience
Allowing People and Life to present itself without a demanding "hurry up" is a must in helping others. Often we need to get rid of the 'time tables' in our expectations and this is very difficult. Someone once said that "Life is what happens while we are busy making plans." If we are too involved in the 'planning' and 'expectations' we lose our perspective on Life and healing.

Patience is the fertile soil or ground that most often grows the greatest healing. I often have to remind myself to take time with the healing process.

  • An Attitude of Letting Go (Stillness)
Closely akin to the attitude of Patience is the attitude of Letting Go. Often I have to pull back and allow for Life and its children to take their course.

Obviously when there are safety issues then we need to be actively seeking to help others. But I have also found that people have to be feel free to grow and make their own decisions. Sometimes that means that they make some bad choices and/or they don't much want to be helped out. I have learned that in those cases it is best to honor the person by allowing that person their choices and their space.

Developing an inner stillness is helpful in Letting Go. That means allowing life to take its course and being ready to step up and help when needed. I meditate several times a day but I also take a little time often to try to still my mind and just sit. I find that this Letting Go process gives me a little more energy and clarity so that I can be of greater service.

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I work as a school counselor and mental health counselor in Gallup New Mexico.
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the hurry up, fast fast fast, need that done yeste... by shadow dancer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 12:31:40 PM
Did you ever think that being sarcastic, condescen... by Guy Dwyer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 1:33:49 PM
You are absolutely right.... by Ruth on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 2:03:12 PM
Guy, & Ruth & face the facts instead of de... by shadow dancer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 5:10:53 PM
If you really looked at yourself, what you would s... by Guy Dwyer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 7:43:17 PM
there are boats & planes leaving back to whatv... by shadow dancer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 8:40:28 PM
You wondered why people get angry at you. I didn't... by Guy Dwyer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 9:28:50 PM
ramble on yourself, there, Guy. So if you allowed... by shadow dancer on Monday, Aug 24, 2009 at 6:42:19 AM
Shadow Dancer,I like your premise here. With all t... by Grant Lawrence on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 2:40:44 PM
song way back in the 70's or 80's, who cares, call... by shadow dancer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 6:34:40 PM
You whine and wonder why people get angry at you? ... by Guy Dwyer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 7:50:59 PM
mean I am whining? I am just discussing history. ... by shadow dancer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 9:14:45 PM
Now you say you weren't whining about people "gett... by Guy Dwyer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 9:55:27 PM
You apparently get perverse pleasure in goading an... by Ruth on Monday, Aug 24, 2009 at 12:35:42 AM
your Govt all reformed yet, Ruth? Do you have all ... by shadow dancer on Monday, Aug 24, 2009 at 7:16:32 AM
Shadow Dancer does raise some good points. He is j... by Sarah Morgan on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 3:22:27 PM
That was a very good quote and I think captures th... by Grant Lawrence on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 3:35:18 PM
It brings to mind what Jesus said: "Of myself, I d... by Arthur Avalon on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 3:45:55 PM
Thanks for bringing that into perspective with Jes... by Grant Lawrence on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 3:49:37 PM
Grant, Guy and I have a Groundhog's Day thing goin... by shadow dancer on Sunday, Aug 23, 2009 at 9:42:19 PM
Gee, thanks, Shadow Dancer, for enlightening us. W... by Guy Dwyer on Monday, Aug 24, 2009 at 12:48:34 AM
of Native Tribes on Rez's say, Guy, thanks for bri... by shadow dancer on Monday, Aug 24, 2009 at 8:49:02 AM
today, Grant, & perhaps you can or can't answe... by shadow dancer on Monday, Aug 24, 2009 at 6:12:57 AM
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and not ... by Sarah Morgan on Monday, Aug 24, 2009 at 10:56:02 AM
Lord, Sarah. Trust in the Lord doesn't mean I hav... by shadow dancer on Monday, Aug 24, 2009 at 3:19:07 PM