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Blow Before You Vote - Parents Against Drunk Legislators!

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Do you think that Congress should abide by the same laws that most Americans have to obey?  The Average Blow Job does; they can't go to work drunk, intoxicated or high.

Why should legislators be allowed to work drunk?  The Average Joe Blow isn't allowed to work while "three sheets to the wind"; why should The Weeper of the House, Crying Johnnie Boehner, or, that "alky", Mitch ("The B*tch") Mc Connell, (R), (KY), legislate while  sh*&-faced ( French for, "in one's cups").   Boehner is a notorious stand-up drunk and Mitch is a sit down, roll over, and yell-at-people one.

Proper Americans Against Drunk Legislators (PAADLE), doesn't think it's right for politicians to operate with a different set of rules.  That's why they are asking the biggest drunk in Congress, "The Weeper of the House", Johnnie Boehner, to get up off the floor of the House of Representative, dust himself off and bring to a vote a law that would prohibit lawmakers from voting for legislation while intoxicated; especially, things like a declaration of war.

The NO MORE LEGISLATING WHILE DRUNK law would require all congressional persons elected to public office to "BLOW BEFORE THEY VOTE", into a breathalyzer (not each other), to determine if they are drunk, which many of them are allegedly; thereby, preventing the horrific mistakes of our most recent past, "Shutting Down the Government" to prove a point.

Or, the more harrowing one, driving America over a fiscal cliff because Conservatives have a burr up their calcified asses over the Patients Right and Affordable Health Care Act, that was passed into law three years ago by the House and the Senate, and signed into law by the president.  A Conservative Republican-led Supreme Court challenge failed and the highest court in the land upheld the law.

Still, Tea Republicans "Know It All", and, their drunk-as-a-skunk leader, John A. Boehner, continues to throw a monkey wrench into the government works jamming it up, shutting the government down, refusing to approve nominees for important government positions because they are "pissed off" and drunk much of the time.  That, Brothers and Sisters of the Corn-Hole Generation, is a deadly combination:  "Drunk and Pissed Off".

By, the way, friends, have you seen the newest label for Jack Daniels?  It features Crying Johnnie Boehner on it with a 5th  of Jack Daniels   in one hand, a can of  I nstant-a-Tan  in the other, and, a fat wad of lobbyist cash in his back pocket.  It's a fair likeness, too.

"STOP LEGISLATING WHILE DRUNK" is a worthless bill not worth passing, and, therefore, probably will, according to Jonathan Livingston Pigeon ("Doctored"), president and CEO of the Less Than Prestigious BIRD DROPPINGS INSTITUTE - A Think Tank For Right-Wing, Left of Centered, Fundamentally Flawed Conservative Conspirators located "right smack dab" in the middle of "Crying" Johnnie A. Boehner's 8th Congressional district, where there are no jobs because "The Weeper" of the House and his Calcified Conservative Re-Puritan friends sent them all oversea to China.

The Speaker of the House was recently called upon to "slur a few words" in support of the proposal, but, because he was drunk, forgot when a female lobbyist offered him some tail.  Naturally, the Family-Value candidate and devote catholic man, told our much clubbed reporter, Iama Liar, here, at Eat The Press -- Don't Read It!,  that when he comes back from his latest "binge", he'll do just that.

Listen up, Joe Bl*w Job, America is burning while the Drunk Boehner (See: Drunk Boehner) fiddles with a cork screw.

This is Wintrope Merridethe, The Trey, Just Messing with America's Mind; and reminding Amerika to:  Wake Up, & Smell The Elephant Poo!

Beware a Re-Puritan may be knocking on your door, now, at this very minute, demanding to know if you are a "Born-Again Christian"? Slam the damn door in their face, retreat to your safe room and call an exorcist.

Note:  No part of this Epistle is true, except the parts that are lies, which are many.

 

Take action -- click here to contact your local newspaper or congress people:
No Legislating While Drunk

Click here to see the most recent messages sent to congressional reps and local newspapers

I am a part time idiot and a full time moron. As publisher of EAT THE PRESS - Don't Read It, I promote illiteracy as a Constitutional Right guaranteed by the Constitution and the Holy Bible. It's in the bible, somewhere. The content of EAT THE (more...)
 

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So many legislators are drunk that I believe that ... by John K Roberts on Friday, Nov 15, 2013 at 1:01:02 PM
Congress operates on a separate set of rules that ... by John K Roberts on Friday, Nov 15, 2013 at 4:10:42 PM
Time for Congress to abide my the same rules as th... by John K Roberts on Friday, Nov 15, 2013 at 4:24:53 PM