(image by Mike Malloy)
A judge has ordered barred Herbert Jones, 62, from a Hanover mall after he allegedly groped a teen girl dressed as an elf where they worked at a mall photo station. Maybe he was checking to see if she belonged on the "naughty" list."
BOSTON (Reuters) -- "A man who worked as a Santa Claus in a Massachusetts shopping mall has been ordered not to put the red suit back on until a court resolves a charge that he groped an adult coworker over the weekend.
"The man, Herbert Jones, 62, was arrested on Saturday and charged with one count of indecent assault and battery on a person over the age of 14, Russ Eonas, a spokesman for the Plymouth County district attorney's office, said on Tuesday.
"The prosecutor's office declined to comment on reports that the co-worker wore an elf costume as part of the job.
"Jones pleaded not guilty and was released on $1,000 bail. A judge ordered him to stay away from the Hanover Mall, where he had worked, and not to seek work as a mall Santa until the charges are resolved.
Jones is due back in court on December 24, Christmas Eve."
Christmas EVE! That won't work! How will he get the toys out to all the good little girls and boys with the oh-so-pinchable bottoms? Heck, what is Santa doing in a mall this time of year anyway? Isn't he supposed to be at the North Pole making toys for the tiny baby Jesus? Up there with the manger animals? No?
Am I getting confused again?
It's started already. The deck-deck-decking of the malls and near constant holiday carols pumped into every public space. Holiday bows on everything from jewelry boxes to cases of cat litter. The mere thought that some Rapture Righties get their bibles in a wad because some people prefer to say "happy holidays" rather than "merry christmas," is laughable. Especially considering this same uptight crew blanches at the celebration of Halloween (love those "hallelujah! parties instead), never quite realizing that their winter holy day has more to do with pagans and fairies than virgin and talking stars.
You may be surprised to know Christmas does not celebrate the birth of Christ --
1. History shows that it was not a celebration observed by the very early Christians.
2. Jesus told his followers to observe a memorial of his death, not of his birth. (1 Corinthians 11:24-26)
3. December 25 is not the date of Jesus birth. It could not have been, since the Bible shows that at the time of his birth shepherds were still in the fields at night. They would not have been there in the cold, rainy season of winter. (Luke 2:8-12)
4. December 25 was chosen as the date to celebrate Jesus birth because, as The World Book Encyclopedia explains: The people of Rome already observed it as the Feast of Saturn, celebrating the birthday of the Sun.
5. Didn't the Lord God the Father of Jesus not place a star in the sky? Did he? Matthew 2:1-16 shows that the star led the men first to King Herod and then to Jesus and that Herod then sought to have Jesus killed. No mention is made that anyone other than these men saw the star. After they left, God's angel warned Joseph to flee to Egypt to safeguard the child. Was that star was a sign from God or was it from someone who was seeking to have God's Son destroyed?
Star of wonder, indeed. It souds more like "star of infanticide." Ah mythology, so fascinating. So sad some of the Palinesque variety take it all so literally. Mike will muse on the impending shopping season. After all, the true winners in the Christmas game are the Big Corporations!