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Alaska's Russian Moose Threat

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Rocky and Bullwinkle


It is a well know fact that Governor Sara Palin's largest fur-bearing, foreign policy, challenge to Alaska's sovereignty are Russian Moose. In nefarious nocturnal numbers, they have swum from Russia across the Bering Strait, and snuck up the Yukon; probably since Mastodon days when there was a land bridge. Moose are a militaristic menace. Their antlers, wired with KGB transmitters, provide easy surveillance, to spy upon Sourdoughs and Juneau Jane Does, who are asleep anyway, during Alaska's eleven months of darkness.


Only Sara Palin has the guts to get out of her cabin, shake off the frostbite, and mercilessly shoot and butcher the fifteen hundred pound beasts.


John McCain, who resembles Rocky the Flying Squirrel, plays no small part in this. Just look at the aviator goggles, the gleaming teeth. He may be small, and may have spent years in a stinky squirrel box, and he may like nuts to a fault, but make no mistake, he is in charge...even if it is a charging Enemy Number One Moose. He will never blink, which some Alaska native societies consider a threatening facial attribute, but they have probably already been destroyed the demonic KGB Moose, or Palin's withholding of food stamps and counterfeit caribou Niblets, that the moose would have confiscated, anyway. But rest assured, Rocky and Bullwinkle were always involved in classified cartoon surveillance and subterfuge, an so are McCain and Palin.


For what it's worth, Polar Bears can swim the Bering Strait, too, but Sara already has a howitzer head's up policy on their extinction. Besides, their ears make lousy transmitters.

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Conceived on west coast,born on east coast,returned to northwest spawning grounds. Never far from water. Degree in biology, minor: socio/psychology. Nature-oriented. Building trades,marine carpentry, Army Veteran, ex-social worker, ex-tavern (more...)

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