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July 2, 2008 at 06:59:24

Promoted to column top on 7/2/08:
Alabama's Nut Job Attorney General Wants To Ban Sex Toys And Sing With Dead People

by Steve Elliott     Page 1 of 3 page(s)

www.opednews.com

 
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Have you heard the one about the Southern politician who wants to arrest women for dildo possession?

Unfortunately, it's not a joke, so there's no punchline. There's a real live attorney general in Alabama who actually wants to enforce the sex toy ban enacted by the fundamentalist-dominated state legislature a few years ago. Troy King is serious about this -- he will bust your ass for a vibrator.



Sure, there are other states, especially in the South, that have some pretty ridiculous laws on the books. In Mississippi, for instance, it's illegal -- even for married couples! -- to have oral sex. The law's still on the books, presumably because none of the good-old-boy legislators there wants to become known as the guy who legalized blow jobs.

But Troy King is cut from a different cloth. AG King, widely known as a thin skinned, vindictive (that from the Alabama District Attorneys Association!) and spiteful little man and a "hateful punk," believes that sex toys are immoral and that he should be concerned with arresting those who use them.

With all the real crime that takes place in Alabama -- including a whole passel of shady dealings in politics, corruption, and graft, much of it involving King himself -- Troy's more concerned that the wimmen folk might let their lustful urges get out of control once they learn that "men" and "orgasms" don't always have to be in the same room.


Mobile Press Register political cartoonist J.D. Crowe's take on Troy King's sex toy phobia

My friend, fellow blogger and former Alabama gubernatorial candidate Loretta Nall gets the credit for originally alerting me to the outrageous sex-phobic shenanigans of Troy King last year. Loretta got some coverage from Dame Magazine on her "Sex Toys For Troy King" campaign, in which Loretta encouraged everyone to send the Attorney General a sex toy of their choice -- a brilliant bit of political theater.

I want to join Loretta in encouraging everyone to send sex toys to Troy King. Here's his address:

Office of the Attorney General
Alabama State House
11 South Union Street, Third Floor
Montgomery, AL 36130

Loretta also blogged about Troy's laughable, pathetically bad posthumous duet with a non-consenting Johnny Cash, and I was galvanized into action. When some idiot who never even met Johnny Cash starts screwing with the memory of The Man In Black, it is ON, homie.

In January of this year, I obtained online a 30-second sample of the King/Cash duet, which Troy had distributed to about 25 friends and supporters as Christmas "gifts," and I slapped together a little slide show video to go with it, which I then put on YouTube.

Next thing I know, I'm being interviewed by leading Alabama newspaper The Tuscaloosa News, and as I told them, as a native Alabamian myself, I really hate when some ignorant, pea-brained yokel like King makes the state a laughingstock.

Almost immediately, the video gets 1,500 views online. And Troy made a rookie mistake: His press officer ran his mouth to the press (Rule #1: If you're a public official, you never respond to a crank). To quote the Tuscaloosa News story, "King spokesman Chris Bence said the West Coast is a good fit for Elliott. 'Outside the state is the best place for him,' Bence said."

Within a few weeks, King pulled some strings and had the video pulled from YouTube; to do so he went through his friends at the John R. Cash Trust, who spooked YouTube into pulling the video with a spurious "copyright infringement" claim. (The claim is patently ridiculous, because a 30-second clip falls well within "Fair Use" doctrine, and in any event, the Cash version of the song on which King overdubbed his god-awful vocals has never been officially released.)

So I started wondering. What's up with a guy so vindictive, so petty, so insecure that he has to have his press agent answer some crackpot 2,500 miles away when I put a 30-second video showing him in a less than flattering light? And when he feels to need to discredit me, he feels that he can do it based on where I choose to live?

Now, here's where it gets hip-boot deep.

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http://realitycatcher-alapoet.blogspot.com/

I'm a 48-year-old writer, editor, ex-musician, dreamer, reality catcher, ex-con, and father. I have three kids, five tattoos, a criminal record, a terminal disease, and an attitude. I was born in Alabama and spent the first 38 years of my life there and in Mississippi. In the 1970s and 1980s, I was a drummer in various hard rock bar bands in Alabama and Mississippi. Since 1985, I've worked for newspapers, ad agencies and magazines. I've also taken inventory, indulged in independent entrepreneurship, run a newspaper route and served time. I've been on the West Coast, L.A. or Seattle, since 1999.

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3 comments

SW Texas ultra-liberal
john riggsSW Texas ultra-liberal

I want to sing a duet with Elvis

and dedicate it to Hillary, "You aint nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time"  But we should not unilateraly outlaw sex toys for women only, rubber manginas must go also.It is time to put an end to things that would replace men.And not just store bought stuff. Dont forget bananas, zuchini, cucumbers and baseball bats,,ouch ! sorry sports fans. And what about those bothersome camel toes ? There ought to be a law !

by john riggs (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 424 comments) on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 12:13:33 PM
 


DaveyS is a 5th-generation Texan now living in California, a proud liberal (product of the public education system in North Texas!), and a staunch critic of conservative policies that are destroying our nation.
daveysDaveyS is a 5th-generation Texan now living in California, a proud liberal (product of the public education system in North Texas!), and a staunch critic of conservative policies that are destroying our nation.

Wait till the TSA gets hold of this one.

It's so pathetic.  My friend recently went on a business trip with items stowed in his carr-on bag that were, um, of a personal nature.  So, the TSA screener mercilessly dug the items out of the bag, held them up for everyone to see, and blared, "What is *this*?"  Common decency has been replaced with fascism is this piece of sh*t country we used to proudly call the Land of the Free.  Ha!

by daveys (2 articles, 0 quicklinks, 15 diaries, 168 comments) on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 4:51:09 PM
 

 

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