Have you heard the one about the Southern politician who wants to arrest women for dildo possession?
Unfortunately, it's not a joke, so there's no punchline. There's a real live attorney general in Alabama who actually wants to enforce the sex toy ban enacted by the fundamentalist-dominated state legislature a few years ago. Troy King is serious about this -- he will bust your ass for a vibrator.
Sure, there are other states, especially in the South, that have some pretty ridiculous laws on the books. In Mississippi, for instance, it's illegal -- even for married couples! -- to have oral sex. The law's still on the books, presumably because none of the good-old-boy legislators there wants to become known as the guy who legalized blow jobs.
But Troy King is cut from a different cloth. AG King, widely known as a thin skinned, vindictive (that from the Alabama District Attorneys Association!) and spiteful little man and a "hateful punk," believes that sex toys are immoral and that he should be concerned with arresting those who use them.
With all the real crime that takes place in Alabama -- including a whole passel of shady dealings in politics, corruption, and graft, much of it involving King himself -- Troy's more concerned that the wimmen folk might let their lustful urges get out of control once they learn that "men" and "orgasms" don't always have to be in the same room.
In January of this year, I obtained online a 30-second sample of the King/Cash duet, which Troy had distributed to about 25 friends and supporters as Christmas "gifts," and I slapped together a little slide show video to go with it, which I then put on YouTube.
Almost immediately, the video gets 1,500 views online. And Troy made a rookie mistake: His press officer ran his mouth to the press (Rule #1: If you're a public official, you never respond to a crank). To quote the Tuscaloosa News story, "King spokesman Chris Bence said the West Coast is a good fit for Elliott. 'Outside the state is the best place for him,' Bence said."
Within a few weeks, King pulled some strings and had the video pulled from YouTube; to do so he went through his friends at the John R. Cash Trust, who spooked YouTube into pulling the video with a spurious "copyright infringement" claim. (The claim is patently ridiculous, because a 30-second clip falls well within "Fair Use" doctrine, and in any event, the Cash version of the song on which King overdubbed his god-awful vocals has never been officially released.)
So I started wondering. What's up with a guy so vindictive, so petty, so insecure that he has to have his press agent answer some crackpot 2,500 miles away when I put a 30-second video showing him in a less than flattering light? And when he feels to need to discredit me, he feels that he can do it based on where I choose to live?
I'm a 48-year-old writer, editor, ex-musician, dreamer, reality catcher, ex-con, and father. I have three kids, five tattoos, a criminal record, a terminal disease, and an attitude. I was born in Alabama and spent the first 38 years of my life there (more...)
The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Look at the insanity churning behind his eyes, then consider his outrageous conduct and total lack of scruples, and then tell me he isn't a love child of Ted Haggard and Dick Cheney.
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John Wood Sr (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 7 diaries, 101 comments [1 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Wednesday, Jul 2, 2008 at 8:15:56 AM
and dedicate it to Hillary, "You aint nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time" But we should not unilateraly outlaw sex toys for women only, rubber manginas must go also.It is time to put an end to things that would replace men.And not just store bought stuff. Dont forget bananas, zuchini, cucumbers and baseball bats,,ouch ! sorry sports fans. And what about those bothersome camel toes ? There ought to be a law !
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john riggs (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 463 comments [24 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Wednesday, Jul 2, 2008 at 12:13:33 PM
It's so pathetic. My friend recently went on a business trip with items stowed in his carr-on bag that were, um, of a personal nature. So, the TSA screener mercilessly dug the items out of the bag, held them up for everyone to see, and blared, "What is *this*?" Common decency has been replaced with fascism is this piece of sh*t country we used to proudly call the Land of the Free. Ha!
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daveys (9 articles, 0 quicklinks, 22 diaries, 272 comments [20 recommended, 2 rejected]) on Wednesday, Jul 2, 2008 at 4:51:09 PM
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Have you heard the one about the Southern politician who wants to arrest women for dildo possession?
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