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A New Twist on Deer Hunting

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The air is crisp, fallen leaves skitter across the paths and cammo pick-ups surround the gun stores.  Yes Sir, it's deer season in Arkansas with cammo on everything from trucks to hearing aids!  Shots echo across the valley as hunters sight-in up their arsenal of high-tech weapons to chase the dangerous fearsome and wily white tailed deer.

In the south, and all over this great country workers are absent from jobs, fathers away from families and no dog, cow, goat or human is safe in the woods.

This has been going on for millennia around Thanksgiving, Christmas and The New Year.  Now I know the bagging of a deer is a heroic deed especially with the dangers of falling from a tree stand after the one(?) for the road and I heard of a near death when a hunter found a bad beer right after downing thirty seven good ones.  I also firmly believe that carrying a deer from the woods can cause a hernia although if I haven't seen one.  Heck it's almost like carrying a big dog!. Just think of all the time it took to refill the timed bait stations, not to mention the cost.  I am not a hunter but must have some kind of magical talent as I can almost walk up to a deer any day of the week and put him in a sleeper hold and I have never been attacked by one of those dangerous herbivores.

With so many years of this traditional adventure, much like the running of the bulls in Pamplona, hunters must get a jaded feeling trudging to the deer woods once more.  That is why so many spend their hunting week sleeping late and slurping gallons of good cheer and throwing up but -no deer, Oh dear!  In fact, did you know venison is the most expensive meat one can buy even surpassing those fancy Blue Fin Tuna or so I hear: Vacation days, stylish cammo, new truck, deer camp  dues, new rifle, stand, timed baiter, bow, ATV and booze.

As you might have expected I have the answer to put a new level of excitement into this ancient blood sport. I have thought about this almost all of my life and have come to a solution that will help the coffers of the state and add an exponential level of excitement and may provide some other benefits as well.

This idea will require very little changing of existing game laws. Seasons will remain the same such as muzzle-loading season, bow season, doe season etc. and hunter will have to have the same license.  Laws concerning shooting near houses and other safety laws will remain.

The new addition will require the purchase of a special tag usable only once yearly per hunter and will be somewhat costly  One thousand dollars, $1,000.00  and will allow the bagging of one hunter per year.  Now that's real sport.  Can you imagine the plaque with the head mounted with a Smokey Kromer Cammo cap, a rifle held up in hands and a framed driver's license.  Maybe a ferocious hunter in cammo standing with a Crown Royal and a silly smile near the front door to greet visitors. I haven't decided about who gets the ATV and pick-up yet but I'm working on it.
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Seventy four old retired physician, Veteran of the US Navy in the Vietnam era, markedly opposed to the futility, waste and brutality of our wars for the riches of the elite. I want America back as futile as that aspiration is.

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