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June 13, 2008 at 11:11:26

Headlined on 6/13/08:
A Discussion On Love

by Anthony Wade     Page 1 of 1 page(s)

www.opednews.com

 

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Below is a devotional I wrote this week which Rob had suggested i post to generate a discussion on love. As a Christian, I not only write political articles, but I write Christian devotionals. A devotional is a short exposition on a particular verse from the bible, and hopefully how it applies to our life today. Hope all is well with everyone.

The Choice of Love, Part One – The Soul Versus the Spirit

1Corinthians 13: 4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Life is about choices. We can look back over our lives with regret or rejoicing at the decisions we make; usually it is a mixture of both. Of all the facets of being inescapably human, romantic love remains one of the most confusing and daunting we will face. That is because it is one area that we still tend to listen more to worldly philosophy than Godly wisdom. We are inclined to Oprah-ize love or wonder what Dr. Phil says, instead of what God says. The reason we seem to get it wrong so often is that we treat love as strictly an emotion, a product of our soul. But love is also a product of our spirit even though we give it more emotional power than it rightly deserves. In fact, one just needs to look at the way we speak about love, to see the emotional control that we give it. We do not say that we have love or even feel love. No; we “fall into” love; as if it some sort of bear trap clasping around our ankles not letting us go. Love is not quicksand beloved. As with everything, God explains for us in the bible, exactly what love is supposed to be. Remember that it is the design of God that we are not to be alone. In just the second chapter of the bible, God declares this fact:

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." – Genesis 2:18

So, here is the apostle Paul explaining what love is in 1Corinthians. One of the most quoted and least applied set of verses in the bible. Note first of all that the statements are all declarative. Paul does not say, “love feels kind” or “love does not feel like boasting.” That is because while love is definitely emotional, there is still a choice to be made. Love is supposed to be as much a conscious decision as it is an emotional feeling. Seemingly however, we leave it all up to the whims of our emotions. We let our soul dictate to our spirit.

God is love and by choosing to be love ourselves, we are choosing to be more Christ-like. First, you must choose to be patient. It is certainly not in our nature to be patient people. We live in a microwave society where we want things done, and usually we want them done yesterday. How many disagreements in relationships are caused by impatience? Now think for a minute of how patient God has been with you. Secondly, you must choose to be kind. Sounds simple enough but it really does go against our inherent human nature, doesn’t it? Why? Because to be truly kind, you must deny self and we are essentially selfish creatures. Society reinforces this selfishness with it’s, “what’s in it for me” mentality. Yet if you want to experience true love as God intended and not some emotional trap you will “fall into”, then Paul says you need to start with patience and kindness. It is not surprising to see these attributes reiterated in another of Paul’s letters:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. – Colossians 3:12

Not only do you need to have patience and kindness, but you should be clothed in them. They should be a part of who you are. As patient as God has been with you, He has been equally kind as well. As we strive to be more Christ-like, we start with kindness and patience. This is how we start to choose to love.

In the same verse however, Paul also states three things that love is not. It is no surprise that these three things are often stumbling blocks in our lives as well. As such, they also creep into our relationships and can prevent true love from being realized. That is because as difficult as it may be, love is not envious. True envy denies what God has already done for you and given to you. It usurps the sovereignty of God by desiring something that He has decided to give to someone else and not you. In a relationship it robs the joy that you should have together. It speaks to the motive of the heart. A heart in love is happy at the blessings another receives. It does not secretly desire them.

Love is also neither boastful nor proud. Once again, being proud or boastful is taking the focus off of God and placing it on ourselves. True love keeps God first in everything it does. The world teaches us that the other person “completes us.” Not so; God completes us! In order for God to have the supreme place in any relationship there can be no pride; no boasting:

To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. – Proverbs 8:13

Boasting is arrogant behavior. God hates pride and arrogance. You cannot be Christ-like and exemplify these qualities. You cannot be love and embody these traits. The end result is what is desirable. A relationship where there is no boasting and no pride, keeps God on the throne. It keeps God in control. If man builds the relationship, man will have to maintain it. If God builds the relationship, God will maintain it. One just needs to look at the divorce rate in this country to see what happens when man builds it. Does this mean we are perfect beings; never boasting or prideful? Never envious; always kind and patient? Of course not because we are infallibly human. These are the decisions though that we must make if we are to strive for what God says love is. It is what we should be working on becoming.

Paul will go on with more about what love is but it starts with this often quoted verse. The foundation of love is patience and kindness, never being envious, boastful or proud. These are things that grate against us as human beings and our sinful nature. In order to be these things, we need to be sacrificial in nature; sacrificing our fleshly desires in order to be more Christ-like. Poets and philosophers have spent eternity draping a shroud of mystery over love. We constantly lament why one romantic relationship does not work out versus another. Attaching little hearts and cherubs and gooseflesh to love. Stripping the spirit-side of love out and leaving only the soul, the flesh. Love then becomes something to over-analyze, emotionally. A deadly mixture for humans. The result is a series of poor choices where love becomes further shrouded in ambiguity and further away from what God intended. Is it emotional? Of course. But once you get past the butterflies in the stomach and the attraction you are left with choices. Life is always about choices. Love is not something you feel your way into. It is something you choose your way into. You must choose to be kind and patient. You must choose to not be envious, boastful or proud. You must also choose to expect this in return. Too often we compromise and sell ourselves short. We settle for less than God intended for us. We actually trade in the persons that truly represent Godly love, for the gooseflesh and butterflies. Or we allow failed love to wound us so grievously that we build defenses up around our heart, letting no one come close to who we really are; for fear of being hurt again. There is no magical potion or balm to heal past wounds. There is no prescribed time frame for healing. God is always at our right hand, ready to heal, ready to help us move on, ready to help us become more like Him; more like love. The choice is always ours.

Anthony Wade – June 12, 2008

 

Anthony Wade, a contributing writer to opednews.com, is dedicated to educating the populace to the lies and abuses of the government. He is a 41-year-old independent writer from New York with political commentary articles seen on multiple websites. A Christian progressive and professional Rehabilitation Counselor working with the poor and disabled, Mr. Wade believes that you can have faith and hold elected officials accountable for lies and excess.


Anthony Wade?s Archive:


http://www.opednews.com/archiveswadeanthony.htm


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Rob Kall is executive editor and publisher of OpEdNews.com, President of Futurehealth, Inc, inventor . He is also published regularly on the Huffingtonpost.com. He is a frequent Speaker on Politics, Impeachment, The art, science and power of story, heroes and the hero's journey, Positive Psychology, Stress, Biofeedback and a wide range of subjects. He is a campaign consultant specializing in tapping the power of stories for issue positioning, stump speeches and debates. He recently retired as o...

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Rob KallRob Kall is executive editor and publisher of OpEdNews.com, President of Futurehealth, Inc, inventor . He is also published regularly on the Huffingtonpost.com. He is a frequent Speaker on Politics, Impeachment, The art, science and power of story, heroes and the hero's journey, Positive Psychology, Stress, Biofeedback and a wide range of subjects. He is a campaign consultant specializing in tapping the power of stories for issue positioning, stump speeches and debates. He recently retired as o...

to see more of bio, click on member name

Thanks for posting this

"Falling in" love is perhaps the shallowest kind of love. It suggests you let go of yourself in subordination of the relationship, or even the object of affection. When you fall, you are destined to hit the ground.

I like what you say, "

 Or we allow failed love to wound us so grievously that we build defenses up around our heart, letting no one come close to who we really are; for fear of being hurt again. There is no magical potion or balm to heal past wounds. There is no prescribed time frame for healing. God is always at our right hand, ready to heal, ready to help us move on, ready to help us become more like Him; more like love. The choice is always ours.  "

The thing is, to be loving in all you do, with God in your heart, imbuing all you see and do. That's a very hard goal to meet. But then, when you find someone special, your heart is already open. If you keep your heart open, with God's help, love can come so much more easily. The wounds that tend to close the heart can't be totally healed. But by keeping God in your heart, you can, even with the wounds, have the courage to keep facing the world with love.  This is theoretical stuff-- much easier to write about than actually walk.

by Rob Kall (808 articles, 3923 quicklinks, 332 diaries, 1703 comments) on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 11:17:47 AM
 


Bio moved to 'contact info.'
Levin SheridanBio moved to 'contact info.'

Yes, Yes, Yes!

 

Even when motivated by the hurt, through the anger, the love shines through to help bring change and improvement to our world...

But you gotta be able to accept the love when it comes, whatever form it may take...

KG

by Levin Sheridan (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 5 diaries, 170 comments) on Saturday, June 14, 2008 at 7:35:55 AM
 


A native Californian, Jan Baumgartner is a freelance writer currently living in Maine. Her background includes scriptwriting, comedy writing for the Northern California Emmy Awards, and travel writing for The New York Times. She has worked as a grant writer for the non-profit sector in the fields of academia, AIDS, and wildlife conservation and anti-poaching for NGO's in the U.S. and Africa. Her articles and essays have appeared in numerous online and print publications in the U.S. and internat...

to see more of bio, click on member name

Jan BaumgartnerA native Californian, Jan Baumgartner is a freelance writer currently living in Maine. Her background includes scriptwriting, comedy writing for the Northern California Emmy Awards, and travel writing for The New York Times. She has worked as a grant writer for the non-profit sector in the fields of academia, AIDS, and wildlife conservation and anti-poaching for NGO's in the U.S. and Africa. Her articles and essays have appeared in numerous online and print publications in the U.S. and internat...

to see more of bio, click on member name

"falling in love"

they are only words - and such phrases and terminology are only that.  A single person somewhere in the course of history came up with this description of "love," however, we know what we know in our hearts, individually, without falling into the trap of what someone else's words mean or may have meant for them.

I do believe that there is no one definition of love.  Love is different for everyone and what works for one may not work for another.  My personal definition would be whatever brings fullness and peace and harmony into the lives of others, and thus, back to us, even though we have asked for nothing in return.

The capacity for love is in all of us - whether Christian or not, believer or not.  As human beings we are each given the opportunity to open ourselves to loving and being loved - it is perhaps the purest form of being or consciousness  we can ever hope for or aspire to - and it doesn't alienate one individual from another. 

My favorite line to describe love is that from St. Exupery:

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but looking outward, together, in the same direction."

 

by Jan Baumgartner (52 articles, 136 quicklinks, 10 diaries, 249 comments) on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 2:52:26 PM
 


I'm a citizen and resident of Cascadia - a province of the FORMER USA.

*************

Other than that, what is there to say? I don't really matter... My vote doesn't even count. ***
And who really cares what I think! So I'm free to think anything.

***

The broader story: it's NOT about "me" or my ego or seeing my name in print... I'm a fleeting ephemeral whirlwind of energy patterns and I will soon be gone...

It IS about many m...

to see more of bio, click on member name

mrk *I'm a citizen and resident of Cascadia - a province of the FORMER USA.

*************

Other than that, what is there to say? I don't really matter... My vote doesn't even count. ***
And who really cares what I think! So I'm free to think anything.

***

The broader story: it's NOT about "me" or my ego or seeing my name in print... I'm a fleeting ephemeral whirlwind of energy patterns and I will soon be gone...

It IS about many m...

to see more of bio, click on member name

Poet Sam Walter Foss Wrote

A Greater God by poet Sam Walter Foss (1858-1911):

A boy was born 'mid little things,

Between a little world and sky-

And dreamed not of the cosmic rings

'Round which the circling planets fly.

He lived in little works and thoughts,

Where little ventures grow and plod,

And paced and plowed his little plots,

And prayed unto his little God.

But as the mighty system grew,

His faith grew faint with many scars;

The Cosmos widened in his view-

But God was lost among His stars.

 

Another boy in lowly days,

As he, to little things was born,

But gathered lore in woodland ways,

And from the glory of the morn.

As wider skies broke on his view,

God greatened in his growing mind;

Each year he dreamed his God anew,

And left his older God behind.

He saw the boundless scheme dilate,

In star and blossom, sky and clod;

And as the universe grew great,

He dreamed it for a greater God.


---------------------------------

 

Now, the above may not seem to have an "immediate direct relationship" to the topic - of "love" - however perhaps after more consideration it MAY be seen by some to be DIRECTLY related to one or more of the pivotal comments made in the original essay. Take your time.

 

"It's not only bigger than we believe... it's bigger than we can imagine!"

(To paraphrase JBS Haldane)

 

by mrk * (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 295 comments) on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 3:48:26 PM
 


I live on an island off the coast of Maine. Political junkie of liberal persuasion.
I have long been a registered Independent and now am a member of the Maine Green Independent Party.

Widower, grandfather of two, retired.

Jack HarringtonI live on an island off the coast of Maine. Political junkie of liberal persuasion.
I have long been a registered Independent and now am a member of the Maine Green Independent Party.

Widower, grandfather of two, retired.

Interesting piece

As a bereavement counselor for Hospice. I found it noted, and you might find interesting yourself, that people of faith find a path to peace faster and more completely than those who are more secular in outlook following the loss of a loved one.

I have wondered from time to time  as to why this might be. I suspect it is in the view one holds of both faith in a higher power and the personal perspective one has on love in one's own life.

In any event, the loss of love, and our recovery from that loss, is the greatest test of love we  might experience.

Thanks for a good work.

 

Jack H. 

by Jack Harrington (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 312 comments) on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 3:53:37 PM
 


juggler, education researcher, music addict, poet, explorer of how things, especially people and societies, function.
Tony Duncanjuggler, education researcher, music addict, poet, explorer of how things, especially people and societies, function.

reframing love in human nature

I look at this question very differently, and while I have very similar understandings my conclusion have crucial differences.

My interest is in what can lead to optimal human nature. What are the conditions attitudes and behaviors that result in humans living the most fullfilling and flexible lives.

 While this is often frowned upon, I take a biological view, but I do not in the least discount spiritual elements and interpretations.

In my view love is a necessary component of  the emotional scaffolding that enables human interaction that we take for granted as basic human relations. The work of Stanley Greenspan with autism and other researchers showing how emotional development is vitally dependant on warm, "loving" human interaction as children with adults. In fact it appears to be necessary for children to feel a deep sense of being loved, both in terms of being given focused positive attention, but also in terms of having the idea reinforced that their well being is of extreme importance to the adults around them.

This does not mean doting, and it does not mean spoiling. But it does mean being given strong positive reinforcement for creativity and exploration, and being respected as a full human being relative to all others in the community. It also means being denied and having behavior interrupted that is destructive or not conducive to co-operative endeavors.  this is what allows moral values to be derived and tested and integrated into personality in a healhty way.

Much of what I consider to be the article's (and Rob's) dismissal of "falling in love" is an overreaction from the vast majority of individuals in our society that did not experience the kind of attention and love that humans require for healthy emotional development. So people have to engage in desperate interactions that are mixed up with feelings of envy and arrogance or the other distortions that are talked about in the article and comments. These are not "wrong" kinds of love, they are natural reactions to not being given fully healthy love as children.

I do believe that love is something that needs to be developed and refined over many years, maybe throughout ones life, but it is clear to me that  the prevailing conceptions of love in our culture reinforce ideas of jealousy and posessiveness and other selfish desires that come from dysfuntional ubringing, and are not just less pure forms of love.

So while I agree with much of what is written above, I think that love is an essential substrate of our daily lives, and love between individuals is dependent on an understanding of what our personal history with love has been and how our personalities can integrate the most enriching ways to communicate with others so as to undo the damage that lack of effective love has wrought on our lives.

I actually look at positive spiritual traditions as being attempts to undo the damage of the misunderstanding most cultures have around love.

 A line I came up with is "rejection of love is the soil from which grow all the other ills of humanity"

One of my favorite poems is from Hafiiz, who touches me as much as any words have. It talks to me about love being the wellspring of all our highest attributes.

 

 

WHY JUST ASK THE DONKEY

 

Why 
Just ask the donkey in me 
To speak to the donkey in you, 

 

When I have so many other beautiful animals 
And brilliant colored birds inside 
That are all longing to say something wonderful
And exciting to your heart? 

 

Let's open all the locked doors upon our eyes 
that keep us from knowing the Intelligence 
That begets love 
and a more lively and satisfying conversation 
With the Friend. 
 
Let's turn loose our golden falcons 
So that they can meet in the sky 
Where our spirits belong
Necking like two 
Hot kids. 

 

Let's hold hands and get drunk near the sun 
And sing sweet songs to God 
Until He joins us with a few notes 
From His own sublime lute and drum. 

 

If you have a better idea 
Of how ro pass a lonely night 
After your glands may have peformed 
All their little magic  
Then speak up sweethearts, speak up, 
For Hafiz and all the world will listen. 

 

Why just bring your donkey to me 
Asking for stale hay 
And a boring conference with the idiot 
In regards to this precious matter- 
Such a precious matter as love, 

 

When I have so many other divine animals 
And brilliant colored birds inside 
That are all longing 
To so sweetly 
Greet 
You!

by Tony Duncan (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 31 comments) on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 10:39:48 PM
 



Wolfie

BYRON KATIE WOULD SAY .........

that self love is the foundation for all other kinds of love. Perhaps

she is right because if one does not love themselves they will be envious

or jealous and that shall destroy all the other relationships.

So, Wolfie, you is the best dog in the whole wide world, smack!

     here is real LOVE!

 

 

 

 

by Wolfie (8 articles, 0 quicklinks, 32 diaries, 1189 comments) on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 10:46:47 PM
 


Margaret Bassett is an 86-year old, currently living in senior housing, with a lifelong interest in political conumbrums. She hopes to hold out for one more presidential election. Bachelors from State University of Iowa (1944) and Masters from Roosevelt University (1975) help to unravel important requirements for modern communication. Early introduction to computer science (1966) trumps them. It's payback time. She's been "entitled" so long she hopes to find some good coming off the keyboa...

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Margaret BassettMargaret Bassett is an 86-year old, currently living in senior housing, with a lifelong interest in political conumbrums. She hopes to hold out for one more presidential election. Bachelors from State University of Iowa (1944) and Masters from Roosevelt University (1975) help to unravel important requirements for modern communication. Early introduction to computer science (1966) trumps them. It's payback time. She's been "entitled" so long she hopes to find some good coming off the keyboa...

to see more of bio, click on member name

This is a nice place to come to. Thanks!

I think of love as a gift that grows if I nurture it. Sure, there are the three classifications of filial, erotic and that "which surpasseth understanding," which we somehow try to sort out by the time of raging hormones. But I think it is even greater than that in most of us.

There may be some children who come into this world so distrustful, that they are hard to love and who don't give us the joy of their newness. But I don't know them. In general, if one considers a small child, how trusting and giving they can be, it is hard to not believe that God made enough happy experiences to offset the sour times which come. I can't pass a grocery cart with a small passenger in the rumble seat that I don't make the customary hand signals. If the tyke engages I have enough stored up to abide a poor checkout experience and most likely it will get me through the "putting up" phase of the task. Grownups can be just as loving, but I have to make a bigger effort. Don't you just love to run into someone who thinks you're great?

Political leaders talk about diplomacy, talking to others. If they truly mean it, there would be less strife in this short span we spend on earth. I thank God for souls like Dr. King, Bishop Tutu, and Mother Teresa. And in everyday life, I also thank Him for all my friends, near and far, who are looking for a chance to love their neighbors.

by Margaret Bassett (25 articles, 1685 quicklinks, 29 diaries, 1015 comments) on Friday, June 13, 2008 at 11:04:14 PM
 


No one of any particular note. Just someone making observations about the world we inhabit and trying to express them; looking for solutions and drawing conclusions. 57, married, Mac, cat, sailing, creative, occasionally subversive.
R. A. LandbeckNo one of any particular note. Just someone making observations about the world we inhabit and trying to express them; looking for solutions and drawing conclusions. 57, married, Mac, cat, sailing, creative, occasionally subversive.

Love...........?

Love: probably the most abused word in language second only to God. Regularly idealized, one only has to read the articles appearing in OEN every day to comprehend just how far humanity is from comprehending the full magnitude of those realities. Bought and sold, commodified and traded, mankind has corrupted these ideas just as we suffer the corruption of our political process and the environment. Whether humanity has the humility and honesty to comprehend its own limitations and complicity may very well define our future.

by R. A. Landbeck (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 8 diaries, 28 comments) on Saturday, June 14, 2008 at 3:12:40 AM
 



Wolfie

WE ARE TAUGHT TO SAY WE LOVE THEM BUT

WE DISAGREE WITH THE WAY THEY ACT. We must not allow them

to hurt us, even though we will have them in our heart we

will have to separate from them.

Byron Katie hs told us how to react.

by Wolfie (8 articles, 0 quicklinks, 32 diaries, 1189 comments) on Saturday, June 14, 2008 at 10:45:27 AM
 


56 years on this jumpin' green sphere. Musician. Own and operate a music store to help kids find a possible life long friend. I believe in the soul and the search. Happily married w/ 2 boys. Published songwriter. play bass, piano and gut string guitar. there are no solutions..only alternatives. Ask questions. Listen. Be fair and don't expect. Baseball is a mirror. Don't ask....unless you have time and a sense of humor. Peace is never easy, but worth it. Always.
mikel paul56 years on this jumpin' green sphere. Musician. Own and operate a music store to help kids find a possible life long friend. I believe in the soul and the search. Happily married w/ 2 boys. Published songwriter. play bass, piano and gut string guitar. there are no solutions..only alternatives. Ask questions. Listen. Be fair and don't expect. Baseball is a mirror. Don't ask....unless you have time and a sense of humor. Peace is never easy, but worth it. Always.

no fear....

     In no particular order we all shall evolve.

     All our roads are different. All of them.

     Our lessons are the same, but since we are all different we see them as such. A warriors blade of honor or a slaves soft touch are both born to the lessons.

     There is karma. It is one of the lessons. There is always growth. Life and death share the same bed.

     However, the goal is always the same. To evolve. We always do. Look at where we were. Now look at where we are.

     Acceptance, integration and knowing brings growth.

     No choice is a choice.

     Lessons are always repeated until learned. Then we get another.

     The vehicle is not the soul. The soul seeks only joy and love. The vehicle does not. It cannot.

     Jesus knew all this. He was one of many who have.

     I am an atheist. Who believes.

     peace 

    

by mikel paul (10 articles, 1 quicklinks, 7 diaries, 396 comments) on Saturday, June 14, 2008 at 7:21:26 PM
 

 

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