"I didn't do anything, George. This clearly brings up a core issue for you: you have a serious problem in taking responsibility."
OK, now I surreptitiously turn the cassette recorder back on.
"And it won't do any good trying to tape me because as I have tried to explain to you my voice is not in the room, it's only inside your head."
"We'll see about that, buster. I didn't get to be President for two terms being told I couldn't do something even when I couldn't do it."
"Then play the tape back."
"All right, I will. Tape is... rolling..."
...Yeah, come in. Put the tray right here. All right. First some coffee-- [silence] Arrrhhhh! Owwww, that's HOT!
"What the...? Let me move the tape up."
[silence] ...We'll see about that, buster.
"Wow, that's one heck of a good trick, making it so I can hear you but no one else can. You CIA boys are sure good at this secret techno stuff."
"I'm not with the CIA, George, unless that stands for Conscience In Action. I'm afraid what we have here is a failure to communicate. The fact that you don't know me or want to know me brings up another core issue. You're good at praying - talking to God and asking for things to go your way - but you're not so good at the listening part. Your relationship with the Big Guy is one of asking and sometimes beseeching along with the occasional groveling but it never occurs to you to ask him what HE wants or what HE might want you to do."
"And how would you know all that?"
"Because being your conscience means I'm a piece of the Boss. I know what he knows but I'm focused on you. That's my job. But I don't intervene, I just watch and wait for you to check in with me. In your case that is proving to be one heck of a long wait."
"No, no, no, I don't buy any of this. Maybe they put a chip in my head while I was sleeping. That would be Cheney's style. He's got his whole family and all his subordinates chipped so he can make them do whatever he wants. So, by the way, does Cheney have a conscience?"
"There are exceptions to every rule."
"Now that's the first thing you've said that makes sense."