When Lyons drove out of the Ocoee area last week -- in her 1991 Honda Civic, with some 236,000 miles on it and duct tape holding up the dashboard -- it was emotionally wrenching for her. She repeated over and over to herself in the car: "I've got to keep going, I've got to keep going. I gotta get out of here now. I gotta get out of here now."
She continues to be haunted by the indoctrination. She is struggling to shake off a belief system that defined as evil her natural instincts, her thoughts, and her desires for personal happiness and independence. Her speech remains infected with the jargon of the ministry. She says her fight now is to become whole.
The experience with the program "sucker-punched me," she said. "They took away my self-respect and my self-esteem. They eviscerated me. They took the life out of me. Any natural instinct I had was condemned. I'm doing better [now], but I maintain a certain numbness because of the damage. I never fought so hard, once I realized my predicament, to get myself back."