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How do you stay in the moment? Keep all your senses wide open, receptive to notice; seeking out art, novelty, beauty, good abilities, gifts, acts, and ideas of others-- all the good and beautiful going on around you. Maintain a healthy sense of humor and relate to each day with playful respect, ready to embrace the challenges it brings to you. Challenges take all different forms. An exciting challenge for one person may be un-noticed by a thousand others. Timing, your attitude toward taking challenges (self esteem), and other simultaneous demands on your energy all play a role in the decision to enter flow. And flow is dynamic. As you master one moment's challenge, the challenge must increase, becoming more complex, demanding more complex skills.
Dr. Csikszentmihalyi's findings support the beliefs and advice of many sages throughout time: the Roman general Sallust observed that, "It is the duty of all ...who would maintain their rank in the scale of the creation, to strenuously endeavor that their lives be not passed in a state of obscurity. Without activity and usefulness, they will little surpass the herds of the field, which are doomed by nature to grovel on the earth, the slaves of sordid and unruly appetites."
Thomas Carlyle said that "Men do less than they ought, unless they do all that they can." Psychologist Abraham Maslow explained that we feel so good when we meet or create challenges because "The appetite for growth is whetted rather than allayed by gratification. Growth is, in itself, a rewarding and exciting process, e.g., the fulfilling of yearnings and ambitions. ...Heaven, so to speak, lies waiting for us through life, ready to step into for a time of striving. And once we have been in it, we can remember it forever and feed ourselves on this memory and be sustained in time of stress."
If you're not used to taking on challenges or stretching your skills, it may seem overwhelming. But you don't have to conquer the world as you take your first new steps towards stretching and growing. Longfellow advises us to, "Give what you have. To some one, it may be better than you dare to think." Give yourself credit for small steps. Others may see them as awesome.
Your powers may astonish you. Know what they are and how to use them.
The philosopher Schopenhauer said, "There is really no enjoyment other than in being aware of our powers and using them." How can you know your powers if you don't test them and use them regularly? William James said, "Compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. ..the human individual thus lives far within his limits... possesses power of various sorts which he habitually fails to use." You need to find challenges to test your powers, so you know what they are. And Rabbi Harold Kushner says that "it's important to feel that your abilities are being challenged, that you have to measure yourself." You can't just coast and expect happiness to come to you. Happiness requires work.
You can't be happy without courage--without the audacity to expect, to want and go for the positives that make your life glow. Winston Churchill said, "Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities ... it is the quality which guarantees all others." People are afraid to expose themselves to risk, no matter how minor, how slim, though the PE payoff is virtually certain. I see it all the time in my seminars. I announce that an exercise is going to feel good, then I ask for volunteers. Only a few hands go up. Then I demonstrate that the exercise feels good. I ask the participants. "Did it feel good?" It always does. But still there are always many people who won't take the opportunities just waiting for them. They are afraid. You need to have the courage to say to yourself, "I'm breaking out of the routine. I'm challenging myself, taking a risk and experimenting with a positive experience. People's biggest fear is that they'll make a fool of themselves. Self criticism and its avoidance causes this problem. But if you can keep your sense of humor and laugh at yourself, it won't matter what others think.
The point is, take risks! It doesn't matter what you try so long as you are exercising and building your courage muscles. You'll begin noticing new challenges that used to seem totally impossible and you'll enjoy discovering new "mountains" that become easier and easier to climb. As your courage, confidence and competence grow, you'll need to seek greater challenges to satisfy your need to stretch your skills. Your attitude will unfold from cautious and fearful to eager and anticipating as your courage becomes stronger and more deeply woven into your most inner self. When it seems hard to draw upon your courage, remember that George Patton said "Courage is fear holding on a minute longer."
You can start by working on these strategies right now.
1] Build your courage by mastering your fears:
Desensitize yourself to fears of taking risks by using techniques described in chapter 12. Minimize your negative response to failures. Imagine encountering and handling difficulties and turning them into PE opportunities. Learn to accept failure as an occasional, necessary step on the path to success. If you don't fail sometimes, you are not taking enough risks.
2] Expand Your Knowledge Base
The more you know about the world and the people around you, the more likely you'll be to recognize PE opportunities of greater depth and complexity. Research and plan the situations that will produce positive experiences, such as vacations, evenings out with friends, educational events, time devoted to your hobbies. Consult experts and acquaintances, use all available resources-- the local library and colleges, movies, TV, video, radio, magazines, computer databases and software--and explore all possibilities; expand your goals. Be creative and match up different ideas that don't automatically seem compatible. Try experiences that you see other people enjoying in movies magazines and television.
3] Never stop working to increase your knowledge:
The Roman philosopher Seneca says, ''The soil, however rich it may be, cannot be productive without cultivation.'' Humans possess the unique capacity to acquire and process information. Our lives and minds are enriched by learning, by cultivating the habit of nurturing our knowledge. You should devote time to your own particular interests-- professional sports, nature study, cooking, gardening, hobbies, politics, history or current events in the news.
4] Cultivate your creativity.
