|
|
,
Add to My Group(s)
Add to My Group(s)
By Professor Emeritus Peter Bagnolo (about the author)
Page 3 of 3 page(s)
29)-For no apparent reason, buy a goat and begin taking it everywhere you go with you.
FOR NO APPARENT REASON ASK A PERSON YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE IF THEY KNOW WHERE YOU PUT YOUR SLIPPERS, THEN CALL A COP AND TELL THEM WHERE YOUR COUSIN SUE IS HIDING OUT. WHEN HE ASKS WHY YOU ARE TELLING HIM, ASK HIM WHY HE IS ASKING YOU.
30)- Make an appointment with a shrink. Wearing the same garb as your street ballet, when you get there just get comfortable, pull out a small note pad and pen, fix your gaze on him/her and stare. If they first, speak ask them in French if they think it is chic to go without undies and stockings. No matter what they answer, furrow your brow slightly in concern and ask quietly, "...and how does that make you feel?"
If they seem offended, draw from your cloak a bag of popcorn, with real butter and offer them some saying, "I am sorry I have nothing to offer you in the way of liquid refreshment, to go with the popcorn to allay the thirst, but I was ill-prepared to even offer the popcorn." Then, dramatically, fling the cloak over your shoulder like Dracula and beat a hasty retreat.
DO NONE OF THE ABOVE AND SEE WHAT THAT GETS YOU SMARTY PANTS!
Page 3 of 3 page(s)
FOR NO APPARENT REASON ASK A PERSON YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE IF THEY KNOW WHERE YOU PUT YOUR SLIPPERS, THEN CALL A COP AND TELL THEM WHERE YOUR COUSIN SUE IS HIDING OUT. WHEN HE ASKS WHY YOU ARE TELLING HIM, ASK HIM WHY HE IS ASKING YOU.
30)- Make an appointment with a shrink. Wearing the same garb as your street ballet, when you get there just get comfortable, pull out a small note pad and pen, fix your gaze on him/her and stare. If they first, speak ask them in French if they think it is chic to go without undies and stockings. No matter what they answer, furrow your brow slightly in concern and ask quietly, "...and how does that make you feel?"
If they seem offended, draw from your cloak a bag of popcorn, with real butter and offer them some saying, "I am sorry I have nothing to offer you in the way of liquid refreshment, to go with the popcorn to allay the thirst, but I was ill-prepared to even offer the popcorn." Then, dramatically, fling the cloak over your shoulder like Dracula and beat a hasty retreat.
DO NONE OF THE ABOVE AND SEE WHAT THAT GETS YOU SMARTY PANTS!
Professor Bagnolo has majored in: Cultural Anthropology, Architectural design, painting, creative writing. As a child prodigy, abed with polio for almost two years, he was offered an opportunity to skip three grades at age 8.
Later He was a (more...)
Later He was a (more...)
The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author
and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
 Contact Editor |
Comments
The time limit for entering new comments on this article has expired.
This limit can be removed. Our paid membership program is designed to give you many benefits, such as removing this time limit. To learn more, please click here.
| No comments |