Dirty Little Corporate Secrets?

However, there are allegedly at least two other secrets. Of course, the one mentioned above, about games outcomes being manipulated and the baseballs taking super bounce reactions. The game being manipulated are: Regular seasons games, League Championship Games, World Series Games and even some games in the school yard of PS-537 on 53rd and Broadway.

Speaking of games outcome manipulation, several times last season, a person who claimed to be the Commissioner of baseball gained access to the scoreboards and was seen lurking about the scoreboards all day, with collar up, hat pulled down, Groucho Marx glasses, nose and moustache in place; and every now and then he would tiptoe out, change the scores on the score board and dart away giggling, with the numbers he switched for, under his coat. That was his simplistic way of manipulating game's outcomes, but some say he steals the numbers, because he likes to flash them at the hotdog vendor before he leaves the ballparks. To this day, no one knows who he really is. Maybe he is Jose' Canseco?

From the evidence I saw, noting ball/strike calls and other critical umpire and league decisions, I wondered who I trusted less, The president of my country, the umpires, or the President of the Board of Directors of the bank in my neighborhood, a guy named Vito The Widow Maker, and his VP, who is his cousin, Daryl, the Donut Dunker.

A fellow I know bet a bundle that the Cubs and the Dakota Buffaloes are going to meet in the World Series in 2007. Of course, when he heard America was attacking Iraq, he also bought Iraqi War Bonds and shorted EXXON OIL at $10.00 a barrel. He has now, between bankruptcy court appearances and his psychiatrist's office visits, become an affirmed Harri Krishna advocate and can often be seen at airports selling tickets to the Republic National Convention in 2008 to be held at Dachau and Auschwitz.

For a period in the mid-to late 1990's, it was Sosa and McGuire capturing the attention of America, and pumping gate receipts. Now, I think, it is time for Janet Jackson to be the center of attraction. I thought I was the only person who missed the expose', because I blinked, but honestly I would rather see 1 million naked breasts, than GW Bush's or Dick Cheney's face on TV. I far prefer lust to smirking, hubristic, murderous, Avarice anytime.

In the explanation of alleged games outcome manipulation, one must first look to the umpires who consistently make incredibly bad calls and ask, why? Perhaps their dentures are loose or their wives are going through Mid-life crisis? When a man goes through mid-life crisis, he buys a red sport car and dates college cheerleaders, when his wife isn't looking. When a woman goes through mid-life crisis, she discovers her husband's indiscretions and opens fire on him at the dinner table, when he isn't looking.

If incompetence is/was the problem with the umpires, here are four tried and true methods of controlling or eliminating it. The first is retraining, or that failing; suspension or firing of the offending umpires. The third is letting those umpires eat dinner with your wife if she is packing her six-shooter. However, the last is giving the umpires better Vision care benefits packages, so they can buy thicker glasses. However, perhaps the league executives could trade thicker heads for thicker glasses also?

Why games manipulation, you might ask? To keep the home team fans coming back to the games. The TV cable crowd is addicted to successful conclusions to everything that must be why some of them are still supporting the Iraqi war. I hear that those who still support the Iraqi war and the "Surge Policy" are the same people who bought ENRON stock at $90.00 per share and whose parents bought Japanese War Bonds in 1944.

There is nothing as effective as a winning record at home and that is what brings fans back to the ballpark time after time. However, if the team is on a losing streak, for attendance sake, I highly recommend having a MEN's NIGHT at the ballpark with Jessica Simpson as the main attraction.

Baseball, home versus away games, wins and losses percentages may be shifting strongly to favor the home team, no matter how bad they are. However, often, if this theory is correct, perhaps misinforming the umpires as to just who the home team IS might be helpful. For instance, just before a game in St. Louis between St. Louis and Chicago, Cubs executive could tiptoe into the umpire's locker room and casually let it slip that the entire Cubs and Cardinals teams have been traded to each other, so that starting tonight, Chicago is the St. Louis Cubs. Then we'll see who gets the calls! After all, the Chicago Cardinals football team moved to Missouri and became the St. Louis Cardinals a score of years ago.

Monstrous Reasons to seek out ScapeGoats

There may be another monstrous reason why the league is looking for scapegoats to deflect the five-second attention span of most sports fanatics. The racists want a pliable Great White Hope to break Aaron's record, or at least an Uncle Tom, not the likes of Bonds or Sosa, two guys who will speak-out, so they are thinking of nominating another minority player, Winnie The Pooh (who would Break the Bear Barrier, in baseball, as the first bear to play pro baseball!), and the first to chosen Most Valuable Player this year. Well, Racism has to stop somewhere, no?

However, above it all, the major reasons for the sharp increase in long-ball hits, were several:
1)- First, the balls were made a little differently to encourage long ball hitting. Instead of making the balls round, they made them long, like bananas. This proved to be a conceptual mistake, typical of Neo-con thinking.

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