Tomgram: Thomas Frank, Why the Tea Party Needs Mitt

Washington Post columnist George Will declared that what Romney did in his venture capitalist days was an "essential social function," that his company was "indispensable for wealth creation." (Just whose wealth was being created he left discreetly undefined.) Yaron Brook, head of the Ayn Rand Center and a familiar figure at Tea Party events, is no fan of Romney's, but he had this to say about Romney's career: "private equity serves an incredibly important productive function in our economy" Private equity is in my view a heroic activity."

"Heroic": that's exactly the word! In Romney we have finally found a quarter-billionaire to cry for. And so Suzy Welch, author and wife of Jack, appeared on Fox Business to wonder why Romney wasn't defending himself aggressively against criticism of his business career. Romney, she announced, is "an American hero to people who believe in free enterprise, or he should be."

And that combination of tragedy and heroism, my friends, is why you will soon be signing up for the Romney juggernaut. In him you will see the saintly victimhood of Sarah Palin melded with the Promethean job-creator who was the cult object of your 2010 efforts. Social issues be damned!  Romney will ensure that we get the one thing that this country can't do without on its path to hell: further deregulation of Wall Street.

The nation's all-powerful elitist socialists will, of course, disagree, and you'll have a field day, raging and weeping at the way they are going to set out to persecute this noble, wealth-creating soul.

Pity the billionaire: it will be a powerful rallying cry for 2012.

Yours in petulant individualism,

Tom

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