After the 1989 physical encounter with Nicole, for which OJ pled no contest, he put a provision in his pre-nupe, that it would be set aside, if he ever put his hands on Nicole again. The pre-nupe was operative at their 1992 divorce, which means that Nicole agreed that OJ had not touched her again.
The other example is Dr. Phil. He described an abusive "dance" that he routinely engaged in with his father, that his father provoked by certain behavioral stimuli. He resolved to extricate himself from participation in that dance, and he was successful.
As for physical abuse escalating to murder, while I'm sure that it sometimes happens, I can't help but take note that, as an avid viewer of crime cases, many of which involve murder by husbands of wives, and by wives of husbands; I have not observed one instance in which there was physical violence in the marriage before the murder. What was present, in almost every case was lying, by the potential murderers, about the essence of who they are. And oftentimes there was fear.
I think that Chris Brown hurt Rihanna due to a reaction to, what was for him, an unbearable stimuli, and I think that stimuli was a threat of violence.
Chris Brown described a fearful childhood, during which he was too afraid to leave his bed for fear that he would encounter the violence of his step-father. He wasn't merely afraid of getting hit, he was afraid of violence. Probably, that fearful little boy has not fully grown up.
R+B star CHRIS BROWN has spoken out about the violence he witnessed as a child in a bid to end the suffering of kids in similar situations. The 18-year-old singer told how the domestic abuse his mum endured at the hands of her violent boyfriend left him too scared to leave his bedroom and he would often end up wetting his bed. He says, "I don't want to mention the person's name - it wasn't my real father - but somebody hurt my mom and me, I had to deal with that from seven all the way to 13. "It affected me, especially (my behaviour) towards women - I treat them differently. I don't want to put a woman through the same thing that person put my mom through. "I was scared and timid when I was little. I used to pee in my bed... I think it was me being nervous, and scared to get up (out of bed) and see what was going on.
Quiet as it is kept, men are people too, and like women, they can be intimidated by physical aggression, especially if their background includes trauma, that makes physical aggression, uniquely threatening.
The same thing that allows women to escape punishment for assaulting men, with deadly force, when there's no real threat, "battered woman syndrome," should be called, "battered person syndrome," and it should *have a mitigating effect legally, for anyone so affected. However, it should not give anyone, male or female, the kind ofget out of jail free card, that Mary Winkler got, after she used a shotgun, to murder her husband, while he slept.
Taking her husband's life was cheap, it only cost her five months in the county jail and two months in a mental health facility. In addition to regaining her freedom, she got back full custody of her children, over the objection of her husband's family.
Attorney General Eric Holder, said that our failure to talk about things racial reflects our cowardice in that area. Well I want to know if America's top cop is brave enough to admit that, in America there is a partnership between law enforcement and the media, that sets the stage for who will get a fair trial and who will not. For who will go to jail and who will not. I want to know if he Is willing to acknowledge that our jail population is not about criminal activity, but rather, it is about selective arrest, selective prosecution, selective convictions, selective bail grants, selective sentencing — primarily influenced by race and class.
Also I am appealing to President Obama to make sure that the agency he created, "the White House Council on Women and Girls," separates women by race, comparing them to men of the same race, so that the analysis of data can distinguish gender based discrimination, from race based discrimination.
Finally, I am throwing down the gauntlet to Americans who want to remove the scourge of racism from our country, and we are the majority, to apply this simple rule of thumb, and to encourage others to do the same: If you haven't done it, or said it, to a white person; then don't do it, or say it, to a black person.
If people would look to their past behavior with whites, and use it to guide their behavior with blacks, most discriminatory behavior would end. If applied to Rihanna, since no white female celebrity has been threatened in their career, unless they leave the man who assaulted them, it would not be done to her. If applied to Chris, since no white male celebrity accused of assault, without a criminal record, has been pressured to eliminate all evidence of fun in his life, and serve jail time for a first offense, and face charges of terrorist threats, then it would not be done to him.
Footnotes:
(1) Lindsay's crimes in this matter included reckless endangerment, 4 counts of kidnapping, 1 count of assault w/a deadly weapon, carjack, driving while intoxicated, possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custody facility and driving on a suspended licence. She was not charged with any of the serious crimes and was only found legally responsible for DUI, which will probably be expunged over time.
(2) Fear of your partner's anger does not include the fear a person has because of a compulsive need to please others, fearing rejection or disapproval.
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
