When you put yourself first, everyone else benefits because your own life is actually working. Your own life is balanced and fulfilled and you live without regret so you give more back to everyone you encounter. It's hard to give substance when you feel empty. If we can't put ourselves first, why should anyone else? Women understand the critical importance of raising confident children who want to be first yet some still live as martyrs accepting a life of less because it is our responsibility and the cross we must bear as women.
That is just poppycock. Step off the cross, take off the shackles and put on the same confident pants we admire in others and cultivate in our children and friends. Putting ourselves first is the answer to sustainable equality for every woman in every aspect of life. Men have been doing it since the beginning of time, so this is one instance that I do believe we should imitate our male counterparts.
JB: In your book, you talk about the necessity of every woman having a cavalry. What do you mean? And how does it work?
SP: It takes a village. Doing it all on your own is exhausting and, frankly, just not smart. When women bond and collaborate, oxytocin is released which is the same trigger for orgasm, so a cavalry is like a great sex life. For example, my cavalry today is my super nanny, my tough as nails assistant, my crazy best friend and my incomparable mother. Without them my quality of life would be quite depressing. In fact, my life just would not work.
When I was clawing my way up the corporate ladder, I had three women in my cavalry: a woman whom I admired and who mentored me, a peer I trusted and used as a sounding board and an assistant who always gave it to me straight and kept me humble. I would do anything for these women and they would do anything for me. A cavalry is about having people in your corner who will tell you like it is with objectivity and people who will help you manage your tasks so life runs more smoothly.
A professional cavalry should be formal. Bi-weekly or monthly meetings should be scheduled so challenges, successes and progress can be shared. An agreement for candid conversation should also be agreed to as this is the fastest way for improvement and a time frame decided upon especially if you are asking for a mentor. Six months is reasonable. Women can also establish personal cavalries with girlfriends and relatives as a way creating our own tribe. I encourage personal cavalries to also rotate the leadership and the organizing responsibility for the group so different women take charge at different times. Simply put, a cavalry is a foundation to ensure personal and professional success.
JB: Great concept, Saundra! Let's pause here. When we return, we can talk about WomanCare Global, what you're up to over there, and how you got started in the women's healthcare field in the first place. Readers, I hope you'll join us.
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part two of our interviewSaundra's website
Saundra's bio
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