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Life Arts

My Pre-Christmas Interview With God

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"But why did you choose her in the first place? I mean, what was it that made you choose this woman out of all the gazillion others that must have been available to an eligible bachelor of your high station?"

"I've been asking myself that for the past 13.7 billion years."

"You've been together that long?" I asked incredulously.

"Are you kidding, that was just the honeymoon."

"It must be hard to live with the same woman for all eternity."

"It would have been if she and I didn't take aeons off now and again to dwell in different universes. We give each other plenty of space."

My mind was spinning. Did the Deity have carnal desires like ordinary mortals? Or was this marriage perhaps a symbolic merging of two vast metaphysical principles?

"Does she look like a metaphysical principle?" the Most High shot back having again read my mind. "Boy did she ever knock my socks off way back when!" God reflected wistfully, as his helpmate blew kisses toward a school group bused in from Ann Arbor, Michigan.

It wasn't difficult to see what had attracted him. Mrs. God -- even at her advanced age -- was still a piece of work, and a commanding presence to boot. Yet I wondered what power in the universe had kept the two of them bonded throughout time.

"You know what Ben Jonson said," God offered without waiting for me to actually voice my question. "'Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat,'"

"That wasn't Ben Jonson, it was Oscar Wilde," I corrected him. 

"Six of one, half a dozen of the other," God replied.

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Richard Schiffman is the author of two spiritual biographies and is a poet based in New York City, as well as a freelance journalist. His passions are his love of nature, studying the world's great mystical traditions and activist writing and (more...)
 

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Anyone else have a talk with God lately?... by Richard Schiffman on Monday, Dec 17, 2012 at 2:48:47 PM