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Fahrenheit 298
By David Glenn Cox (about the author)
Become a Fan (81 fans) -- Page 3 of 3 page(s)
"But what do the people win by deceiving them, Mr. Shofenlazurus?"
"They get the thrill of playing along and of catching the occasional foul ball."
"I don't think you understand, Mr. Shofenhowitzer. It's their game. It belongs to the people. They have a right to know when the pitching sucks and they also have a right to beef about it because that's the only way it will ever get fixed is by people making noise!"
He was moaning now and beating his palm against his forehead. "Winston, Winston, Winston, why can't you just read the sign? Please just read the sign. The sign will answer all of your questions and solve all of your problems, so just read the sign."
He was weary now; I had worn him out. He would probably go into his office and take a slug of Jack Daniels and maybe smoke a coffin nail or two. It bothered me more and more and the thought just wouldn't let up on me. My anger built until I could no longer stand it. Trying to manipulate something as trivial as sports scores, and then I thought to myself, "Just imagine how heinous it would be if someone tried to do this with politics."
Oh, that was such a scary thought that I finished my headline and decided I would run off from there to where they would never find me. Later they said when Shofenshoesniffer saw my new headline for the baseball game and he liked it so much that he wanted to congratulate me.
"Bright Lights! Cold Beer! Green Grass!"
Become a Fan (81 fans) -- Page 3 of 3 page(s)
"They get the thrill of playing along and of catching the occasional foul ball."
"I don't think you understand, Mr. Shofenhowitzer. It's their game. It belongs to the people. They have a right to know when the pitching sucks and they also have a right to beef about it because that's the only way it will ever get fixed is by people making noise!"
He was moaning now and beating his palm against his forehead. "Winston, Winston, Winston, why can't you just read the sign? Please just read the sign. The sign will answer all of your questions and solve all of your problems, so just read the sign."
He was weary now; I had worn him out. He would probably go into his office and take a slug of Jack Daniels and maybe smoke a coffin nail or two. It bothered me more and more and the thought just wouldn't let up on me. My anger built until I could no longer stand it. Trying to manipulate something as trivial as sports scores, and then I thought to myself, "Just imagine how heinous it would be if someone tried to do this with politics."
Oh, that was such a scary thought that I finished my headline and decided I would run off from there to where they would never find me. Later they said when Shofenshoesniffer saw my new headline for the baseball game and he liked it so much that he wanted to congratulate me.
"Bright Lights! Cold Beer! Green Grass!"
I who am I? Born at the pinnacle of American prosperity to parents raised during the last great depression. I was the youngest child of the youngest children born almost between the generations and that in fact clouds and obscures who it is that I (more...)
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breaking the goddamned rules
by Ned Lud on Saturday, Jul 31, 2010 at 9:02:33 AM