"That's outrageous. You can go to any soda machine in the country and buy two diet sodas for the same price as regular sodas. And they're only a buck or so apiece."
"Really? That's strange. I'll have to look into that. So, that's $6 for two sodas plus a buck for the surcharge. Now, do you have luggage you're taking?"
"Only $50 a bag. Carry-on bags are only $30. How many bags, sir?"
"One checked bag and one carry-on bag."
"Yes, sir, that'll be $160."
Apparently she didn't ace her SAT math test. "You said a checked bag was $50, and a carry-on was $30. That's only $80."
"I'm just assuming you'd want them to return with you. Most passengers do."
"You mean the $80 is for one-way only?"
"That's what the illegible fine print says. Most people prefer to bring their bags back with them."
"Do most people prefer to take trains?" I asked. She let it pass unnoticed.
"Now, sir, if you'll just step on the scale."
"You mean I should put my bags on the scale," I said.
"No, sir, I mean you should put you on the scale. It costs more in jet fuel if we have passengers, so we add a weight surcharge." I complied with her request.
"That'll be an extra $15," she said.