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By FRANCIS X. CLINES New York TIMES, December 15, 2008
Leaving no merchandising stone unturned, Major League Baseball has authorized the use of team logos on a line of funeral caskets for people who want to carry their fandom unto eternity. Models for the Yankees (replete with interior pinstripes) and the Mets (with handles of mixed Dodger blue and Giant orange) went on sale at the Branch Funeral Home in Smithtown, Long Island.
The fifth stage (applicable only to team sports) involves setting up a formal selection process, sometimes referred to as a draft, for new players. To accomplish this usually requires co-opting both publically-funded and private universities. This chiefly works for the major sports-football, baseball and basketball. Alas, leagues for swimmers, high jumpers, and volleyball players have not yet developed. To be truly successful, this draft must provide endless opportunity for legal sparring and publicity seeking by both players and agents.
The end result of these five steps is a nefarious mess of interdependent CSBs. Included in this mass of sports exploiters would be the leagues (e.g., the NFL), the players and owners (e.g., the Chicago Cubs), print media, and the TV and radio networks (e.g., NBC Sports), corporate sponsors (e.g., Coca-Cola and Nike) and all the other symbio-toxic groups like the officials; the manufacturers of team logo sweatshirts, beer steins, umbrellas, et al.; the advertising agencies; and the hordes of sports "agents," writers, pundits and other sorry prostitutes camp followers.
Professional Versus Commercial Activities
Our society recognizes professional activities that are best performed by individuals with (a) special training or education, (b) a highly technical body of knowledge, and (c) the ability to exercise independent judgment when confronted by non-routine situations; society also acknowledges that (d) evaluating the competency or performance of professionals may only be accomplished by colleagues within the profession. Professionals organize societies to examine (test) prospective members, license and self-regulate performance, and, often, collaborate with state agencies to establish credentials and eligibility. Physicians, pharmacists, and lawyers may be considered typical members of professions.
An alternate definition of professional may simply be "someone who makes a living at" a particular activity, whether that activity be gardening, athletic performance or auto mechanics. In this limited sense, an athlete may be termed "professional," but too often the more restrictive definition (see above) is applied to commercial athletic workers of great physical coordination but no significant level of education, specialized knowledge or independent judgment.
Doing Sports Properly
Sports are contests between balanced players or teams without undue advantages. A football team of 250 pounders playing a team of 150 pounders isn't sport; it is a massacre. 10th graders playing basketball with college seniors would be a travesty, too. Players must also adhere to accepted rules. Basketball players may not grab opponents' shirts when they jump for a rebound; football players can not grab a facemask or block from behind.
The TV-based activity we call professional basketball provides a good example of a sport gone sour. As the NBA evolved into a league environment where basketball rules were distorted to enhance TV drama, two essential element of the sport were lost.
First, basketball's appeal used to be the triumph of grace and quickness. The best players were sometimes laughably skinny, but they could dart through slim spaces and twist into shooting position before the opposing team could react. Today the "best" NBA players look like linebackers and weigh almost twice what good basketball players formerly weighed because the action under the backboard is primarily designed for heavy-footed, big-butted brutes blocking the lanes. An astute sportswriter, Bill Millsaps, of the Richmond Times-Dispatch, said it best:
"(Basketball) used to be such a lovely finesse sport, now it's a
dock fight. It's just football without the helmets and shoulder
pads. They score baskets the way the Chicago Bears used to
score touchdowns."
Second, and even worse for the integrity of basketball, rules that once encouraged skill and grace have been degraded by NBA owners and officials for maximum TV appeal. For example, "hacking" or "reaching in" was formerly a real disgrace if repeated-but it now is an accepted strategic move to stop the clock and regain possession. Similarly, traveling once caused an automatic whistle; now one sees players strut 6-7 steps without a call. "Over-and-under" (besides being the mark of sub-standard skill at dribbling) used to be a clear dribbling foul, but today's players now flaunt it while truckin' down court. Any time a sport incorporates fouling as deliberate strategy, the demise of the sport can not be far away.
