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"I can imagine how you feel...I banged my toe on a door and wanted to take it off its hinges with my other foot." (This is called "pacing", a technique in which a manager would match her behavioral and emotional state by being present with her in her discomfort, her anger and her fear, without rushing to try and cheer her up or dismiss her pain.)
This rapport can't be manufactured. Intention always manifests. So, if you're doing it to manipulate, it will be transparent. Rapport is born of real concern and real understanding.
Delivering Suggestion for Healing
One way to deliver suggestion is to use story telling. Once rapport is established, you can simply tell her a story of someone you know who had a cut like this and stopped bleeding within minutes. Often, just the suggestion works, because in a stressful situation the person is in an altered state and you are the authority figure.
If there is pain, a technique that is terribly useful is distraction. If the injured party complains of discomfort, you can direct her attention elsewhere--specifically to places in her body that are uninjured.
For example, you can say: "I can see that your head needs attention. Would you take your mind down through your body and see if there's anyplace else that needs attention?"
You might point to an uninjured part and say, "How about over here? How does it feel over here?" Not only does the change of focus provide pain relief (because the mind is only capable of processing one thing at a time), but now she takes note of the fact that there are parts of her that are still all right. And in your presence she feels a little better, so she trusts you to give her other helpful suggestions.
Imagery is a technique that can not only deliver suggestion but can give great comfort. "Now that help is on the way, you can relax with me and take one or two nice easy breaths. I'll bet you'd rather be out on a hike right now. I know you love it outdoors. It would be fine if you wanted to take a little vacation right now..."
The way this works is simple: Every thought that we have generates a physiological, chemical reaction in our bodies. Fearful thoughts create adrenaline and other chemicals that can cause harm. Imagining a peaceful place literally changes the chemistry within and facilitates healing.
Our physical and emotional wellbeing at work--our sense of being safe, understood, and cared for--is essential to our overall health. We spend most of our lives at work. When you know Verbal First Aid, you can help make the workplace a place where, when you and your co-workers need it, healing can also begin.
Judith K. Acosta, LCSW, CHT is a published author and well-respected psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, classical homeopath, and crisis counselor with a private practice in New Mexico.She is the co-author of The Worst is Over (2002) and Verbal First Aid (2010 Penguin Books). She has authored numerous articles on verbal first aid techniques, stress management, trauma, animal-assisted therapy, and viral fear. She specializes in the treatment of trauma and anxiety--particularly with military, paramilitary and emergency personnel. She can be reached at www.wordsaremedicine.com/verbal-first-aid and www.verbalfirstaidthebook.com.
