"Mom and Dad": That’d be tight.
Dateline: Florida Golf CourseO.J. Simpson: Glad most of you could make it to my release party for "If I Did Threaten The Crap Out of That Sports Merchandiser." I’m sorry to say that the Goldmans and Browns won’t be able to get here in time, but I’m expected at the first tee in five minutes, so, tough. Yes,
Reporter: Why were you set up in Vegas?
Simpson: Why don’t you ask the Vegas Police Department or better yet, the LAPD? Never mind, I’m sure there are some of them right here. Detective...
Detective Al Cowlings: Is it true that Mark Furhrman planted the guns on your co-defendants who have turned states evidence to get lighter sentences?
Simpson: If I had to make a bet, yes. And I truly believe you’ll find the answer lies in the life of Faye Resnick. Right Faye?
"Resnick": Yes. And yes, I did it.
Simpson: Fore!
Dateline: Clinton Press ConferenceHillary: To those of you who were here when we told you we would be holding this press conference at the moment we finished telling you we would be having it, thank you for being prompt. Please feel free to ask any question the media would have asked if we had been here to ask them.
"Media Person": How long has the presidential race, that for all intense and purposes has been over, been over?
Hillary: (Guffaw) Oh, Bill. You are such a kidder...and, might I add, an insightful questioner. We feel that the race has been over the moment I entered the race. James...?
"Reporter": Jim Carville, Daily Kissup. How come y’all not a divider?
Hillary (Louder Guffaw): I guess it’s because the only people who wouldn’t vote for me, wouldn’t vote for me anyway. That’s not being a divider. That’s being the person with so much money I don’t have to take a side on any issue, even when I’m on both sides of it.
Dateline: Guiliani Press ConferenceRudy: Last question.
"Reporter": 9-11?
Guiliani: 9-11. And to all of the media. 9-11. Thanks for not needing to be here. 9-11.
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