16)-If so call your doctor or pharmacist and order some Calamine Lotion to put on it. ASK ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU WHY THEY ARE ALL AROUND YOU.
17)-Using a ruler throughout this problem, draw a 4" square a diagonal line from inside from the upper left corner to lower right corner and another form the upper right corner to the lower left corner. In the center, place a small circle. Then draw a line from the top middle of the top horizontal of the square connecting the top through the circle to the bottom horizontal line. Now draw one from the left vertical line of the square through the circle to right vertical line. Stick a pin in the center of the circle. Now spin or rotate the paper.
You will find that no matter how you rotate the paper, the drawing will always remain thereon, unless you burn it or tear it up.
Now do that, burn it or tear it up.
Boy! Do you ever need to be a bit less naïve' and compliant. ADD 3 + 3 AND SEE WHAT YOU GET…. See?
18)-Ask a friend during lunch if they have ever seen a bug about 2" long with a green face, yellow legs and tentacles, yellow antennae, Blue wings and a huge shiny black body with a mammoth stinger. Then ask them if they know what it is. Then drop the subject and they may ask you why you asked. You then say, "Because it is on your head." If they don't ask, say, "Are you sure you've never seen one around your house?" They will then ask you. CALL SEVEN PEOPLE YOU DO NOT LIKE MUCH, PUT THEM ON CONFERENCE CALL, NOW CALL SEVEN PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LIKE YOU MUCH, NOW CALL SEVEN PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LIKE YOU AT ALL, DO THE SAME, NOW CALL SEVEN PEOPLE YOU HATE, AND SEVEN YOU DO NOT LIKE MUCH, AND SEVEN MORE YOU DO NOT LIKE AT ALL, AND SEVEN WHO HATE YOU, NOW OPEN THE LINES AND INTRODUCE THEM ALL TO EACH OTHER, THEN SAY YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THEM, BYE, THEN LISTEN IN.
BOY! YOU HAVE AN AWFUL LOT OF ENEMIES, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, OR WHAT?
19)-See if you can get one of your not so bright, very compliant, friends to do this puzzle. Ask a very dimwitted person, you know the one every one makes fun of because that one is a few cards short of a full deck? If they don't want to do it, where does that place you? IDENTIFY THE ODDEST PEOPLE YOU KNOW, THEN REVERSE THE PROCESS; FUN ISN’T IT?
20)-Find a beautiful female or a handsome man, and see what they think? NOW SEE WHAT YOU THINK. NOT SO VERY FUNNY WHEN THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT, OR THE FOOT IS IN THE OTHER SHOE, IS IT SMARTASS?
21)-Count your nose... If there is more than three of it, call your doctor. When he answers ask him to count his. If he also has more than three, immediately hang up and contemplate moving to a warmer climate! COUNT YOUR NOSES. OH! AND JUST WHY ARE YOU ONE SHORT?
22)-Consult a Medium. Have the Medium take this questionnaire. If they agree never, see them again. ASK YOUR DENTIST A FEW QUESTIONS…SEE WHAT HE THINKS! THEN NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN.
23)-Take the questionnaire to your next doctor visit. See if s/he will take the test. If s/he does, never go back to that doctor and only recommend him to your worst enemies. ASK YOUR SHRINK A QUESTION ABOUT LIFE, OR ABOUT CHIVES. IF YOU HAVE NO SHRINK, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?
24)-Ask yourself two primary questions. If you hear no answer, ask two more. Keep this up all day if necessary. If no answers are forthcoming, go to the beach alone, and leave yourself at home for being so incommunicado! IN A VERY PUBLIC PLACE LIKE AN AUTOMAT RESTAURANT AND LOUDLY ASK YOURSELF A FEW WELL DEFINED QUESTIONS. NOW START LAUGHING SARDONICALLY AND SLAM THE DOOR SHUT! IF THERE IS NOT DOOR ORDER A MILK SHAKE, AND TELL THEM TO SUBSTITUTE FOR THE COOKIES A PICKLE. NOW SAY, “SO, WHAT IF I AM PREGNANT? AFTER ALL HE IS MY PASTOR!” NOW LAUGH THAT WAY AGAIN AND SEE WHAT PSYCHO WARD YOU LAND IN AND LET US KNOW VISITING HOURS.
25)-Tie a red string around your big toe. Tie a similar one around your thumb. Now see what happens. If nothing happens that day, introduce them to each other and stand by, to see what transpires. If nothing does, chalk it up to bad luck or inexperience. RETURN TO YOUR DENTIST AND THEN REFUSE TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH. IF HE TRIES TO FORCE IT OPEN, PULL HIS EARS IN REPRISAL!
26)-Go to a health food store and begin coughing a lot. NOW PUT YOUR SHOES ON BACKWARDS AND TRY WALKING, NOW TRY RUNNING. DID YOU DO THAT? BOY ARE YOU PLIABLE.
Tell A Friend
27)-Go downtown park your car and walk to the busiest intersection while wearing a long cape, beret, and grey suede gloves, and brief case, wearing tights and ballet shoes beneath, take off everything but the essentials and then suddenly with no warning, begin to Pas de Chat, Pirouette, Développé, Arabesque, Cabriole', Battement and back flips, and then just as suddenly and casually, stop, don the beret, cloak, gray suede gloves and leave. DRESS LIKE DEATH, BLACK ROBE, WHITE FACE, AND LONG SCYTHE AND THEN SLOWLY WALK TO THE BUS STOP. HANG A REAR VIEW MIRROR FROM YOUR HAT AND SEE WHAT PEOPLE THINK BEHIND YOUR BACK.
28)-Ask your mother if she is adopted. ASK YOUR FATHER IF HE IS ADOPTED. ASK HIM IF HIS WIFE EVER HAD AN AFFAIR. WHEN HE SAYS NO, SAY, “BOY ARE YOU EVER NAÏVE’!”
Professor Bagnolo is a Renaissance man: Cultural Anthropologist, Architectural designer, painter, writer, novelist, theologian. As a child prodigy, abed with polio for almost two years, with an off the charts IQ, reading at the graduate level by 5th grade, offered an opportunity to skip three grades at age 8. Later He was a recipient of an Art Institute scholarship at age 11, a Ford Foundation Fellowship in Anthropology and in Painting and a merit scholarship in art, and was appointed a Graduate Research Assistant position in college. He holds a triple bachelor's degree in Painting and Drawing, Anthropology, Architectural Design Advertising. MA's in Cultural Anthro, Painting and more. After being tenured he taught; architecture, anthropology, Theology, advertising, painting and drawing, entrepreneuring and Creative Profit Making. He produced a star-studded Music festival, had a radio talk show in Chicago, and cable TV show. Now, retired from Teaching, he paints, writes, and pursues other ventures.
The above bio harvested from the comments of Deans, colleagues, students, clients and collector's.
