Once again, this "attack" was planned and pulled off by the Abbot and Costello arm of Al Quaeda. This attack might have actually been of great import had the absolute morons who planned and coordinated it not been so tragically retarded!
Firstly, the idea of a car bomb is to make said car go, "BOOM," not to have said car burst into flames. The second idea behind a car bomb is to either park the car where it can do the maximum damage, or to slam it into its target, and then make with the big bang.
The idea is not to push the car over a curb and into an abutment designed to keep cars from driving into the airport proper. The idea is not to set yourself on fire, fall out of the car, and have to be rushed to the hospital with every degree of burn imaginable. The idea is to be a martyr for Allah, not to wind up as a laughing stock the world over. And to think this great Jihad attack was pulled by Medical Doctors, supposedly intelligent people. That fact just adds a note of sublime to the ridiculous that was the "attack".
Oh darn, that's all the really big terror attacks that came even close to us. That means that Michael Chertoff's gut was way wrong, and completely out of touch with what you and I like to call reality. Sure, there were other terror attacks happening around the world. For those interested in the list, follow this link. What you will note about these attacks is that most of them happened in the Middle East. What a surprise!!! You will also note that most were much more successful than any of the attacks I listed above.
So, what of Michael Chertoff's gut? Was his gurgling, gagging guliver brought on by a bit of brisket gristle? Was it a florette of broccoli that proved to be a champion at methane production deep within his bowels? Could it have been a touch of intestinal influenza? Maybe it was a particularly potent jalapeño that somehow got lodged somewhere between his duodenum and his anal sphincter? We may well never know.
What is certain is that his gut feeling wasn't anything more or less than an attempt to scare the shit out of an already fear-ridden populace. What else could it be? Keith Olbermann brought up five possible reasons for Chertoff's digestive dysfunction. Follow this link to his special comment dated July 12 for further amplification on the condition of Chertoff's chronically calamitous, colicky cramped-up colon.
My money is on the fact that it was just another attempt to push the fear button. It seems that the one thing that the DUBYA administration is actually good at is frightening people to within inches of their lives. They have done so since the last true foreign terrorist incursion on out soil, 9/11. They will continue to do so until DUBYA and his band of merry sycophants are out of office.
To reiterate, this article is about Michael Chertoff's gut, or his lack thereof. I will sign off now, only to revisit this article between now and the equinox to edit it and make sure it says exactly what I want it to say. I feel extremely confident that I won't have to rewrite it between now and next week to add another terror attack to the list above.
Well, so far, so good! It is now Friday, September 21, and still no big bangs, no mushroom clouds, or anything even remotely close to a terrorist attack. However, it is now nice to know that the congress is so full of pussies, they are willing to condemn a MoveOn.org ad that was no worse than anything regurgitated by Hot Karl Rove and the RepubliKKKan smear machine.
And now, it's 02:27 on the morning of September 23, 2007. While it is technically not the equinox (two more hours), I didn't hear of anyone getting blown to smithereens here in the USA. I guess Michael Chertoff's gut is not to be trusted as an agent of prophecy. Perhaps some other part of his anatomy (maybe that S-P-E-C-I-A-L part of his body) will tell the tale the next time they need to push the fear button. Who knows? If every other part of him has been wrong, what on earth would make me think his schlong could or would be any more accurate? If not, well, he can use it to push the fear button next time.
My vote for the most comical, ridiculous and moronic plot would go to the "shoe bomber," even though it was long before Michael Chertoff knew he had a prognostigating peritoneumal-shrouded gut.
by
Sandy Sand (172 articles, 0 quicklinks, 222 diaries, 1497 comments)
on Sunday, September 23, 2007 at 10:19:52 AM
My vote for the most comical, ridiculous and moronic plot would go to the "shoe bomber," even though it was long before Michael Chertoff knew he had a prognostigating peritoneumal-shrouded gut.
Yeah, that was a joke and a half. Isn't it amazing how some of the most brain-dead twirps are always the focii of these silly "terrorist plots"? It seems that the ones that really do the damage don't say a word.
As for Chertoff's psychometric stomach, it's obvious that he knows nothing about terrorism. Of course, it's not really about terrorism, anyway. It's about scaring the shit out of everyone...and what better way to do so than to spread theories about reds under the bed, or terrorists coming here to do away with the American way of life.
But the American way of life is no more. It has been pre-empted so that those with already full purses can stuff even more money into said purses.
Blessed be! Pappy
by
Pappy (61 articles, 0 quicklinks, 11 diaries, 860 comments)
on Monday, September 24, 2007 at 5:23:11 PM
Thank you! The only hope we have is to wake up enough sleeping sheeple to elect an administration that can think with their brains rather than their guts. Looking at the front-runners of both parties, there doesn't seem to be a lot of hope for that.
by
Mary Pitt (66 articles, 0 quicklinks, 2 diaries, 190 comments)
on Sunday, September 23, 2007 at 1:00:22 PM
Thank you! The only hope we have is to wake up enough sleeping sheeple to elect an administration that can think with their brains rather than their guts. Looking at the front-runners of both parties, there doesn't seem to be a lot of hope for that.
I don't really have a problem with someone using their intuition. I also have no problem with someone who listens to or trusts their gut instincts...as long as they have proved the accuracy of their digestive detective deftness. In the case of Michael Chertoff, he has proved nothing but his ability to kiss the proper ass at the proper time. He has also proved that his only motivation is to keep scaring people out of their minds.
I wrote the article because I knew when I first heard Chertoff's prediction, there was nothing behind it but another attempt to push the fear button. I knew it before Keith Olbermann addressed it. I knew it when I first heard the news. I wanted to remind everyone that he had done it, and remind them that nothing came of Chertoff's prediction.
I guess there's nothing left to do but wait until the next time the fear button needs to be pushed. Will it be Chertoff or someone else to do the pushing? I don't know. I do know that as long as I continue to suck air, and can get to a computer, I'll be sure to call bullshit on any attempt to push the fear button!
Blessed be! Pappy
by
Pappy (61 articles, 0 quicklinks, 11 diaries, 860 comments)
on Monday, September 24, 2007 at 5:47:59 PM
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