c) The Wizard of Oz
d) Captain Kirk
e) The Lone Ranger
This one had me stumped, I admit, till I realized it was all of the above. Now, here’s a question designed to test your moral reasoning:
4) You are pulling in $6 billion a year salary as the manager of an exclusive hedge fund, but hordes of deadbeat sub-prime borrowers can’t keep up with the double-digit spike in their adjustable rate mortgages. If they default, then the value of the assets in your portfolio will be worthless. The best course of action is to:
a) Call the Fed Chairman collect and ask him to print more money so that someone -- anyone – will have enough money to buy the junk bonds you need to sell pronto.
b) Call the President collect and ask him to read, Socialism for the Rich: Why Deficits Don’t Matter, by Ken Lay. Then read him the riot act and tell him he needs to cut taxes right away on capital gains, inheritances, and financial windfalls.
c) Buy every Lotto and Powerball ticket in the country.
d) Ebenezer Scrooge was right; foreclosing on deadbeats is the only way to engender fiscal responsibility.
The correct answer, of course, is none of the above. The savvy hedge fund manager should immediately recognize that his best bet is to liquefy his position by selling his worthless stock and bond certificates on EBay, before some other hedge fund manager gets wise and has the same idea.
Congratulations! You’ve just complete the APA’s Psychological Inventory designed to measure your degree of personal psychosis. By now you are probably wondering how you fared? Just count up the number of belly laughs, chuckles, and snickers you experienced in taking this test. If you:
1) Laughed five or more times – You are psychologically well adjusted and are probably qualified to serve as Hillary Clinton’s running mate.
2) Chuckled twice and snickered once – Go back and take this test again and see if you can’t do better next time.
3) You didn’t laugh once – You are definitely a Republican and you probably think Barack Hussein Obama is the leader of the terrorist organization that attacked America.
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