I saw that particular doctor for a couple of years and he put me on a regiment of very strong pain medication. It did some good at first, but my body kept building a tolerance towards the meds and the dosage had to occasionally be increased.
At the dosage at which I started and even after a couple of increases, I remained fully functional. The dosage didn’t hinder my ability to drive and I still had my freedom.
We did get to a dosage that interfered with my functionality and I insisted upon going back to a dosage under which I could function.
In addition to the medication, the doctor attempted some minimally invasive procedures which were supposed to block the pain signal to the brain. They didn’t work and I can now see how that could have been dangerous in and of itself.
The doctor quit working for the pain management group and I was handed over to his replacement. Then the group itself withdrew from my insurance provider. I kept seeing the doctor’s replacement in the group, but I paid full price for every visit, which was monthly, out of my pocket. I knew of no other pain management group in the area.
On a visit to my pcp, I asked him if he knew of any other pain management groups in the area. He suggested one. I called and, lo and behold, she was in my insurance group. I had to travel further to see her, but I didn’t have to pay full price.
She kept me on the medication, but had me try acupuncture and other alternative medicine, none of which worked. In fact, the acupuncture was intolerably painful.
In the mean time, I saw another surgeon. This surgeon was very proud of the fact that he’d worked with an American professional football player who had back problems. He said that he could perform a minimally invasive procedure that, when coupled with some kind of special physical therapy, would allow me to stop taking the medication.
The fact that surgery was involved and the doctor’s overstated pride concerning his work with the pro athlete convinced me to obtain a second opinion. Part of the second opinion reads as follows:
“In reviewing plain films of the lumbar spine, I see severe arthritic changes at every single level. The MRI scan shows the same arthritic changes and shows disc bulges at virtually every level. There is mild-to-moderate lateral zone stenosis at most levels including especially L5-S1.
Midline back pain is extraordinarily difficult to treat. If someone presents with just one terrible disc, occasionally a discogram and/or a fusion is considered. When every single disc is damaged, it is not possible to fix the problem surgically. One simply cannot replace the entire spine.”
So, the score, surgery - 1, wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot poll – 1. Tie score.
My new pain management doctor recommended I see a doctor who’s closest competitor, according to her, is Superman. I visited my pcp again, paid my copay, said, “Hello” and got my permission slip to see the San Francisco Superman.
Superman was more like Steven Wright. He said, “I’ll be right back” at least 6 times during the visit and left the room for who knows what reason. He had his hands in his pockets and to say he looked disinterested would be like saying Dracula liked red drinks.
I thought at least he’d be a tie breaker. Remember, surgery – 1, no surgery – 1?
On, no, Dr. Wright agreed with both doctors. At least that’s what I think he said. His bedside manner was only slightly better than his ability to speak the English language – and he’s a third, fourth or fifth generation American. It’s not that he spoke with an accent. Let me take that back, I couldn’t tell if he spoke with an accent.
