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22 Ways to be a Good Republican

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18. You have to believe that a president who invaded a Middle East country, without a plan for the aftermath and occupation, and used fabricated intelligence, who authorized torture; violated the Geneva Conventions; the Nuremberg laws against unlawful war; spied on Americans without a warrant, in violation of the U.S. Constitution, which he's sworn to uphold, shouldn't be impeached, but a president who lied about a consensual blowjob, should have been.

19. You have to believe that the Government should impose your version of the Christian religion on everyone, including Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Buddhists, Hindus, and Atheists, in violation of the 1st amendment to the Constitution, barring the establishment of a religion, and that all homosexuals and lesbians should be barred from the right to marry their partners, adopt children, and have partners given health insurance benefits at work, and certainly never fight to protect this country by joining the armed services, and if they do, should be dishonorably discharged, even when their heroism has won them medals for valor or outstanding service to their country.

20. You have to believe that accepting huge bribes from lobbyists to vote in favor of corporate sponsored legislation and tax loopholes, and against the best interests of the majority of our citizens, is somehow in the best interest of the people of the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, Left Wing Conspiracy, perpetrated by the "Liberal Media" which controls everything.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give people the day off on Christmas Day .......... but not the day after, like every other country that celebrates Christmas, such as Canada, England, France, Germany, Mexico, etc., etc. (Can't have people taking too much time off work, can we?? Who would attend to our needs in Aspen and Palm Beach at the holidays for goodness sakes?)

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Kevin Geary is an artist and writer. He currently resides in Sedona, AZ.

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A few more by Andris on Friday, Oct 26, 2007 at 5:37:42 PM