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Tag(s): 2008 Republican Natl Conv; Humor; Humorous; Lies Republican; Party Machine Republican; Presidential Campaign Republican
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October 24, 2007 at 09:47:07

22 Ways to be a Good Republican

by Kevin Geary Page 2 of 2 page(s)

www.opednews.com

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18. You have to believe that a president who invaded a Middle East country, without a plan for the aftermath and occupation, and used fabricated intelligence, who authorized torture; violated the Geneva Conventions; the Nuremberg laws against unlawful war; spied on Americans without a warrant, in violation of the U.S. Constitution, which he's sworn to uphold, shouldn't be impeached, but a president who lied about a consensual blowjob, should have been.

19. You have to believe that the Government should impose your version of the Christian religion on everyone, including Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Buddhists, Hindus, and Atheists, in violation of the 1st amendment to the Constitution, barring the establishment of a religion, and that all homosexuals and lesbians should be barred from the right to marry their partners, adopt children, and have partners given health insurance benefits at work, and certainly never fight to protect this country by joining the armed services, and if they do, should be dishonorably discharged, even when their heroism has won them medals for valor or outstanding service to their country.

20. You have to believe that accepting huge bribes from lobbyists to vote in favor of corporate sponsored legislation and tax loopholes, and against the best interests of the majority of our citizens, is somehow in the best interest of the people of the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, Left Wing Conspiracy, perpetrated by the "Liberal Media" which controls everything.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give people the day off on Christmas Day .......... but not the day after, like every other country that celebrates Christmas, such as Canada, England, France, Germany, Mexico, etc., etc. (Can't have people taking too much time off work, can we?? Who would attend to our needs in Aspen and Palm Beach at the holidays for goodness sakes?)

Ready to vote???

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Kevin Geary is an artist and writer. He currently resides in Sedona, AZ.

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1 comments

57Yo m I'm a "been there, done that! Bought the tee shirt,to hide the scars!" type of person Ive workedï¿½many jobs fromï¿½a chicken slaughterer to managing a branch of a multinational and many jobs in between.Raised in colonial PNG Left School 16,Grad Hi school 22 Night School, University 36ï¿½ BBus (majored in Psyche and Marketing), Dip Comp prog and project Mmnt.at 50 I've been in 48 different community org ,23 on board with 18 prez or deputy prez.First social campaign at 17 for the aborigine...

to see more of bio, click on member name
Andris57Yo m I'm a "been there, done that! Bought the tee shirt,to hide the scars!" type of person Ive workedï¿½many jobs fromï¿½a chicken slaughterer to managing a branch of a multinational and many jobs in between.Raised in colonial PNG Left School 16,Grad Hi school 22 Night School, University 36ï¿½ BBus (majored in Psyche and Marketing), Dip Comp prog and project Mmnt.at 50 I've been in 48 different community org ,23 on board with 18 prez or deputy prez.First social campaign at 17 for the aborigine...

to see more of bio, click on member name

A few more

Great stuff

Damn that's another test I've failed!

You have to believe that a book written 3000 odd years to hold a bunch of iron age nomadic peasants together. With its Bloodthirsty stories and bizzarre predictions that often come from the dreams and trances of their authors makes absolute sense and should be taken literally. While Science with its mandidatory requirements of Objectivity, Measurability, Predictabilityand Repeatability should be regarded as a plot by the left and shouldn't be taken seriously.

You need to believe that the best way to get foreigners to respect and love you is to appropriate their assets, support oppressive governments in their countries that kill their families. And that the best way to bring liberty to a country is to invade and kill their families.

You need to believe that your views are superior to everyone elses and act accordingly.

You need to believe l it's better to be strong than wise regardless of the evidence to the contrary!

You need to believe force alone will win asymetric wars despite the facts.

You need to believe that force is the answer everything

You need to believe that having the capacnty to destroy the world several times over the World inherantly safer.

You need to believe that the doctrine of M A D isn't insane.

by Andris (4 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 531 comments) on Friday, October 26, 2007 at 5:37:42 PM