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Add to My Group(s)
Add to My Group(s)
By Ken Swann Posted by Rob Kall (about the submitter)
Become a Fan (193 fans) -- Page 2 of 3 page(s)
Ashton: But you credited God with getting you sober. Isn 't one
of the Commandments, "Thou shalt not punk God "?
Dubya: Do you really believe I 've read the 12 Commandments?
You 're even dumber then your character on "That 70s Show ". I
lie for God, every goddamn day, so I 'm sure he 'll cut me some
slack.
Ashton: Dude, you better pray God uses Diebold when you get
judged on the big day.
Dubya: You think I worry about Hell? I live in Crawford.
Ashton: 'Nuff said. Now back to why we are here.
Dubya: Like most guys in Hollywood, you probably want me to
fix you up with Jenna.
Ashton: Maybe when she turns forty. No, we are here to show
America how you yanked their chain.
Dubya: You mean, yanked their Cheney. And when Cheney put
me in charge he gave me one rule. Keep it simple, Stupid. Not
the best nickname, but I could never come up with another one
for myself.
We knew we had to distract the masses. The media was on the
gravy train from the beginning. Either I would screw up, or blow
us up. Either way: ratings bonanza!
Ashton: Who came up with the "Compassionate Conservative "
scam? No one could ever believe that one. I 'd put it up there
with peace in Iraq. Not bloody likely.
Dubya: No one in my cabal, I can tell you that. I doubt any of us
knew what the word compassion means. So we just tacked a
bunch of "C " words on the wall and threw a dart. The first "C "
word would have pissed off the religious nuts so we went with
number two.
Ashton: But how the hell do you sell it?
Dubya: Easy. Right before I go on camera to pretend I give a
rat 's buttocks about this or that, someone whispers in my ear we
just lost another oil field in Iraq. Suddenly I care.
Then the trick is to get me off camera as quickly as possible.
Before long I 'll start picturing the oil well on fire and I 'll get a
little giddy. Imagine if I 'd had to talk to that Sheehan woman.
The Lone Star would have started streaming out of me like
Niagara Falls. My Depends would have burst quicker than a
New Orleans levee.
Ashton: Well if you do talk to her, do it on my show. That would
be awesome.
Dubya: Sorry. I 'm done with television. I 'm going into the
movies. If Ronald Reagan can go from President to acting so can
I. I loved him in "Bonzo Hears a Who. "
Become a Fan (193 fans) -- Page 2 of 3 page(s)
of the Commandments, "Thou shalt not punk God "?
Dubya: Do you really believe I 've read the 12 Commandments?
You 're even dumber then your character on "That 70s Show ". I
lie for God, every goddamn day, so I 'm sure he 'll cut me some
slack.
Ashton: Dude, you better pray God uses Diebold when you get
judged on the big day.
Dubya: You think I worry about Hell? I live in Crawford.
Ashton: 'Nuff said. Now back to why we are here.
Dubya: Like most guys in Hollywood, you probably want me to
fix you up with Jenna.
Ashton: Maybe when she turns forty. No, we are here to show
America how you yanked their chain.
Dubya: You mean, yanked their Cheney. And when Cheney put
me in charge he gave me one rule. Keep it simple, Stupid. Not
the best nickname, but I could never come up with another one
for myself.
We knew we had to distract the masses. The media was on the
gravy train from the beginning. Either I would screw up, or blow
us up. Either way: ratings bonanza!
Ashton: Who came up with the "Compassionate Conservative "
scam? No one could ever believe that one. I 'd put it up there
with peace in Iraq. Not bloody likely.
Dubya: No one in my cabal, I can tell you that. I doubt any of us
knew what the word compassion means. So we just tacked a
bunch of "C " words on the wall and threw a dart. The first "C "
word would have pissed off the religious nuts so we went with
number two.
Ashton: But how the hell do you sell it?
Dubya: Easy. Right before I go on camera to pretend I give a
rat 's buttocks about this or that, someone whispers in my ear we
just lost another oil field in Iraq. Suddenly I care.
Then the trick is to get me off camera as quickly as possible.
Before long I 'll start picturing the oil well on fire and I 'll get a
little giddy. Imagine if I 'd had to talk to that Sheehan woman.
The Lone Star would have started streaming out of me like
Niagara Falls. My Depends would have burst quicker than a
New Orleans levee.
Ashton: Well if you do talk to her, do it on my show. That would
be awesome.
Dubya: Sorry. I 'm done with television. I 'm going into the
movies. If Ronald Reagan can go from President to acting so can
I. I loved him in "Bonzo Hears a Who. "
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"BUSH'D"
by Aly Pierce on Monday, Nov 14, 2005 at 1:16:27 PM
Funny Stuff, Ken!!!
by cindi zyre on Tuesday, Nov 15, 2005 at 5:47:26 PM