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What if there really was a Liberal Bias in the Press?

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Governor Schwarzenegger refused to commute Crips founder Stanley "Tookie" Williams death penalty allowing the execution. The governator said, "Without an apology and atonement for these senseless and brutal killings, there can be no redemption". The statement was read by his former lover who was 15 years old at the time of their involvement.

General Motors Announces Expansion of Indian Auto Production

General Motors announced to day that they will be producing up to 40,000 cars a year in new facilities in India as soon as the plants can be built. Asked if these were an off shored jobs given the fact that GM would be laying off 30,000 domestic auto workers, management said, "No, these are cars that will be built for India and China and everyone knows those couldn't be built in America." Asked why the reverse was true, management responded by saying "We will be offering our laid off workers the right to transfer to the new plants at a salary of one bowl of rice a day, but they will have to move there on their own dime."

Hillary Clinton Totally Sells Out to Get Nomination

Hillary Clinton announced to day that she would be divorcing Former President Bill Clinton and marrying Newt Gingrich as soon as Mr. Gingrich could get is 3rd divorce. Asked if she had totally went over to the Republicans, she said no and went on to talk about how Jerry Falwell would be doing the ceremony and they would be honeymooning in Crawford, Texas.

Government Officially Turns Into Police State

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced today that it was now official the government can spy on you for anything anytime and pick you up with out charge, hold you as long as it wants and of course not let you speak to anyone. He said not to worry though that no one would be tortured. Asked what was defined as torture he stated, "we don't really know, but we're working on defining it". When asked whether this would help reign in terrorism, he stated he hoped so but just in case, Intelligence Czar John Negroponte was developing a plan that had been successful for him in Nicaragua, El Salvador, and Iraq, namely secret death squads. Asked whether rendition was still being used, he stated the government had a new policy that would negate the need for that.

So right-wingers, tomorrow when you read the paper rest assured it is still in the control of its right wing corporate masters.

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John Kelley is the Managing Editor of a monthly progressive newsmagazine, "We the People News", in Corpus Christi, Texas
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