May 12, 2008 at 21:47:13

Reflections on Mother's Day, Silver Linings, and Second Chances

SAVE AS FAVORITE

VIEW FAVORITES

By Joan Brunwasser (about the author) Page 2 of 2 page(s)

opednews.com Permalink

If I were to fail at this task – protecting myself from harm – it would also change the way I look at myself, literally and figuratively. Let me explain. I recently saw a rather tasteless stand-up comedian who joked about his type-2 diabetes. He said that that’s the worst kind because if the patient would just clean up his eating habits, lose some weight and get some exercise, the condition could be reversed. A minute later, he launched into a shpiel about going to a Krispy Kremes outlet and buying five donuts. He was clearly staking out his territory with his “what, me worry?” attitude.

While I found this no laughing matter, this unfunny comic definitely touched a nerve. I definitely don’t want to be like him. I’m extremely grateful that I don’t have type-2 diabetes. Many times, our medical condition is beyond our control – but not in my case. I do have the opportunity to do something about it. And in a weird way, that very fact is what scares me. It’s actually easier to be tireless on behalf of my family and the causes I hold dear, than it is to care for my own welfare. Wow. I had no idea.

This patently ridiculous situation is so typical of caretakers, in general, and mothers in particular. Some years back, when my father was fading both physically and mentally, my mother was hospitalized. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with her. The nurses instinctively knew that my mother was just plain worn out. They had seen this syndrome many a time, especially with women who are primarily responsible for their aging and ailing spouses. I tend to agree with the nurses’ diagnosis since my mother stipulated that she didn’t want my father to come to the hospital to visit her. She intuitively understood that she needed this time to concentrate on herself alone in order to pull herself together.

If you’ve ever traveled by air, you’re familiar with the flight attendants’ pre-take off speech on emergency procedures. I tend to block it out since I’m a nervous flyer at best. Yet something in their presentation stuck with me. If oxygen masks are needed because the plane begins to lose altitude, passengers are advised to take care of themselves before addressing the needs of their dependents. While that might initially sound counterintuitive, it actually makes a lot of sense. How can I take care of someone else before I’ve made sure that I myself am in good shape? A good take-away for life. If people, particularly women and mothers, need an excuse to take care of ourselves, there it is. We are most effective as care-givers when our own needs have been met. Let’s all keep that in mind.

Which brings me back to this challenge, this opportunity I face now. How strange and wonderful life is! Had my doctor not found the troubling lump (which had not shown up on the mammogram a short while before), I would not have ended up in surgery. Had I not needed surgery, I certainly wouldn’t have needed the pre-op tests that treated me to an inadvertently thorough check-up. In which case, my troubles with glucose would have remained undetected. So, while it’s up to me to rise to the occasion and do what I need to do to prolong my life, my health and my productivity, what began as a semi-traumatic event turns out to be a potentially life-changing one, a blessing in disguise. Only time will tell how I do with this second chance. Stay tuned. I’m cautiously optimistic; I truly want to succeed. Encouraging words are most welcome. Lemonade, anyone?

1 | 2

Joan Brunwasser is a co-founder of Citizens for Election Reform (CER) which exists for the sole purpose of raising the public awareness of the critical need for election (more...)

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author
and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.