Better yet, I am still anxiously awaiting the national media to pick up on a terrific report on George Bush's visit to New Orleans with the leaders of Canada and Mexico on Earth Day -- April 22. The New Orleans Levee ("We Don't Hold Anything Back") revealed a stealth plan by the White House to cover up yet another Bushism and "Monument to Stupidity."
The original granite monument to the ceremonial planting of a Shumard Oak tree in Lafayette Square read -- "Planted a Summard Oak tree on April 22, 2008, in honor of Earth Day and the Cresent City's hosting of the North American Leader's Summit."
"In a hard-to-believe metaphor to the president's response and handling of hurricane Katrina on the Gulf Coast and the catastrophic failure of the federal levee system that caused the horrific flooding of New Orleans, President Bush dedicated to the Crescent City a White House-ordered monument with the word Crescent misspelled," Levee correspondent Michael DiBari wrote.
In addition, there is no such thing as a Summard Oak, but that botanical mistake pales by the Levee's contention that the hapless oak was not an "official" tree, but one that had been planted two weeks prior and dug up as a ceremonial stand-in.
While residents gathered in disbelief, urinating and throwing drinks on the monument, one onlooker was quoted as coining the "monument to stupidity" headline.
The monument was replaced with a "corrected" substitute, but the Summard mistake remains. The whereabouts of the original is a closely guarded matter of homeland security.
After tying up air and land traffic for 24 hours, Bush (referred to as "President Shrub" at the local Gambit Music Awards ceremony that evening), beat a path to a private fund-raiser on behalf of Democrat-turned Republican and State Treasurer John Kennedy. The "Leaders Summit" was a convenient excuse for Bush to pad the coffers of the Baton Rouge fundraiser, where attendees paid a minimum of $2,000 a plate and $5,000 for a photo-op.
You would think that all of Bush's follies in New Orleans would guarantee that the Crescent City would vote Democratic this November. Don't be too sure.
In an informal exit poll conducted on the Airport Access Road, which connects I-10 (remember all those folks stranded on the I-10 after Katrina?) to the Louis Armstrong International Airport, a surprising pattern of black outrage surfaced.
Bush Whacks NOLA -- Again
Air Force One descended on New Orleans like a bird of prey on April 21. My Air Tran flight from Atlanta was diverted to Mississippi, along with several other commercial flights, not because the big bird was on the tarmac, but because presidential security had us circling until we literally ran out of fuel. Whatever the hell happened to the concept of the "welfare of the many?"
At any rate, traffic was backed up, I was hours late, no one was moving on the ground either, so I called my roommate and told her to go home--I would figure something out. She was still dealing with the after effects of shady contractors at her mid-city residence--almost three years post Katrina--and could not afford the time wasted sitting in traffic. Luckily, I found a cabbie who was deadheading back to Canal Street and who would happily turn off the meter for $25 bucks, dropping me near the now-infamous Carrollton Burger King on his way to Canal.
Cabbies love to talk, and we weren't going anywhere, so conversation was flowing freely. I have found that when they pry the information out of you that you are a writer, cabbies think you are smart and ask you to predict elections, natural disasters, when the universe will end -- that sort of thing.
The refurbished Airport Access road parallels the runways, and we all had clear views of a chopper patrolling the tarmac, as well as tinted-window decoy Suburbans with flashing blue lights that meandered back and forth in a display of disarray.
It was getting hot, so the very nice driver and I got out of the cab, watched the display of presidential largesse, and were joined by another black guy who just wanted to hang with us. One white chick and two black guys -- chillin' and figuring it all out.
I tried to keep my own opinions close to the vest. This was a real chance for an exit poll, and besides, we and a couple of hundred other vehicles were not going anywhere for a while.
