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Neander-Thoughts and Thinkers-Ideas in Religion That Never Really Worked

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11. All religious beliefs and practices are inspired directly by the Deity to the chosen ones and spring from the vacuum of surrounding cultures who practice similar things but do so a bit differently and worship different Deities. The True People and Chosen ones, never take their beliefs from the paganism that surrounds them and never evolve the paganism of neighbors into their own form of true paganism as given by the true Deity. In short, true religions don't evolve out of the cultures they are soaking in.

12. There is a True Deity that loves some people much more than others and really hates some with a passion as if they are in someway fundamentally more flawed than the ones he loves.

13. Special humans, mostly men, are very capable of discerning the mind of the True Deity to form the True Synagogue, Mosque or Church, and are easily found and perceived by those that the True Deity calls to do so.

14. There is only one True Synagogue, Mosque or Church that the Deity will accept membership in for humans to receive their true spiritual rewards, both now and in the time after death.

15. The True Deity requires at least ten percent of your gross income to do His work on earth, which will be done through special humans that know the mind of God more than you ever could. They will always spend the money as if the Deity himself were spending it, for things the Deity would himself spend it for.

16. There is a place of eternal damnation, separation or annihilation for the vast majority who just don't get it and refuse the obvious call of the Deity through special men. This damnation, separation or annihilation is done in love and those who go on to some form of glorification would not notice or care that their children were missing from the equation.

17. Women are not to speak in the True Church because the Holy Text says the first woman sinned and not the man. Women in the True Church are also not to have any authority over a man because, in fact, women come from men and men do not come from women. While science would question this conclusion, most non-Christain science is easy dismissed as "science so called."

18. Because, not counting male lions and male bird plummage, nature tells us it a shame for a man to have long hair, the men of the true religion and Deity, will have short hair. Aside from all contemporary pictures of Jesus, the Sioux and the Visigoths, men with long hair are weak, gay and soft.

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19. Because long hair is a covering for women, short hair is always out for women. Everyone knows that short haired women are from the Isle of Lesbos.

20. Real women don't wear pants.

21. True Religions need to be inflicted upon the disinterested by force, threat and compliance. Those who do not freely come to the True Deity as defined by the true men of the Deity, shall be driven out, mocked, beaten, threatened or killed if need be. God knows those that are his and can sort them out later.

22. There is one true day of the week where the true Deity is in town and can be worshipped best. Those who miss these true worship days are in big trouble. While Wednesday night is not a favorite of the Deity, it is of His chosen male representative, and salvation also depends a bit on one being in the Temple, Mosque or Church at that time as well, thinking what you are told to think.

23. Matthew actually wrote Matthew. Mark actually wrote Mark. Luke actually wrote Luke and John actually wrote John. And when all of these books give conflicting accounts of the god/man's birth, life and death, the story is still inerrant and true. If you can understand that three persons are one GOD, you can understand that Four Gospels make up one true and harmonious story.

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24. There is a harmony of and in the Gospel accounts of Jesus life. They are eyewitness accounts.

25. It should not be a problem that Paul never quotes Jesus, even when it would be to his advantage to do so, but still gets to write most of the New Testament, explain the mind of God and inform the Church of the wishes of the Deity.

26. Paul knew Jesus personally...not.

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Dennis Diehl is a former pastor of 26 years,  who outgrew the Literalism of Fundamentalism.  He writes about Pastoral and Church abuse and is available to speak on such topics or be helpful to any church suffering under abusive (more...)

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why the "original sin" is disobedience t... by Athena88 on Tuesday, Sep 18, 2007 at 8:31:14 AM
Yes, I did consider that I might actually be insul... by Dennis Diehl on Tuesday, Sep 18, 2007 at 8:35:14 AM