LK: That’s part of our debate here tonight, Bill.
BM: Well, that’s very interesting. Are you going to show this on the air?
LK: This is a live broadcast, Bill.
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LK: Welcome back to our debate tonight. This is proving to be a very reasoned clash between Willie Nelson and Bill Maher. Willie, do you have anything to add?
WN: Well Larry, I think Lucy, or Bill, got some explainin’ to do. I pulled out my old Physics text books and in no time at all it all came back to me. I think I had it in my gut the whole time and that’s probably why I knew right at the time that somethins’ not right. You’ve got this Conservation of Momentum and Law of Inertia -- I can’t remember about that first one but the Law of Inertia, that was definitely figured out by Mr Isaac Newton, the father of Physics.
Anyway Larry, I got out my stop watch and measuring stick and replayed the videos of all three collapses. Then I closed my eyes and put the numbers into those Isaac Newton equations that describe the mechanics of our entire universe -- not counting of course, for quantum mechanics and general relativity mind you -- and lo and behold, all three buildings fell about as fast as an apple. Imagine that Larry, those buildings put up NO resistence. There, that’s another of those laws that govern our entire universe including New York City, it’s that all things follow the path of LEAST resistence.
So you tell me Larry, or you Bill, how did that tilting top of that Tower NOT keep on tilting according to Mr. Isaac Newton’s Law of Inertia; it simply disintegrated! How is that for pulling a rabbit out of a hat? Now this isn’t E=MC squared, its pretty simple stuff. But how did the top of that tilting tower squish itself through the entire building while it was distilling itself, and everything else -- and I mean all of the filing cabinets, desks, computers, people -- into fine floating powder? And it did it all the way into the basement without slowing down! I don’t think Isaac would have been very happy about that.
Larry, I’ve been called a lot of things before, but nobody has ever called me uninformed about physics. Sorry Larry, I think they actually did find one, and only one, smushed filing cabinet. I wonder how many filing cabinets would have been in two 110 story towers. Anyway, just think Larry, all of that concrete that created all of the supposed weight that kept squishing, it became FINE FLOATING POWDER, INSTANTLY, in the squish. Larry, fine floating powder is, honestly, not very heavy.
LK: “Not very heavy,” I would have to agree. Bill, your response.
BM: Larry, Boeing 767’s are really big airplanes. And they were flying fast, and they were loaded with kerosene. And either there were not three buildings, or there were three airplanes. How much simpler can you get.
LK: Not much simpler, Bill. Unless of course your mind............ha ha ......... just kidding Bill. Do you have any physics texts from your past you can refer to? I’m sure you didn’t just study funny stuff. Bill, I’ve known you for a long time and I’ve found you quite -- now I might change that to “somewhat” -- intelligent. But Bill, this 9/11 stuff isn’t your strong suit. I hate to tell you, there were three buildings but only two airplanes.
BM: How they got three with just two .... I don’t know Larry, but they must have been a good shot. And what does Isaac Newton have to do with any of this anyway, he’s been dead for decades.
LK: Hundreds of years actually Bill, but lets get a last comment from Willie.
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