Somebody's making a mint on this thing called war. After all, somebody's making those airplanes and helicopters and guns and bullets. Somebody's making those uniforms and boots. Think of all the buttons we're buying for all those uniforms. Someone makes those buttons – big ones, small ones, brass ones, Army buttons that aren't the same as Navy buttons. There are dress uniforms, jungle uniforms, desert uniforms, and all of them need buttons of some kind.
So there's an upside to this: war does keep people employed. Those fighter jet contracts effect over forty states and a thousand or so contractors. Designers and engineers create new and improved ways for people to kill one another. Someone's making all those buttons, unless they're being "outsourced" to India or something, even then, somebody's working and feeding their families. And of course, companies like Halliburton are awarded huge contracts to do whatever it is they do after the shooting stops – except in Iraq, because it still hasn't stopped even though the "war" has actually been over for a couple of years.
I have a solution to all this: Fantasy War. After all, we have Fantasy Football, so why not Fantasy War?
We continue funding the Pentagon and spending $440 billion, awarding contracts for planes and guns, ships and tanks, uniforms and buttons. Instead of invading sovereign nations like Iraq, we could do computer generated war games. All those military strategists could map out offenses and defenses, plug the info into the computer and see what happens. The computer could calculate the rounds of munitions fired, number of planes, ships, tanks lost and/or damaged, and actually destroy those things so they'd have to be replaced. The volume of various fuels could be determined, and we could just build a big bonfire every night. The computer could determine the number of casualties, and those uniforms would be burned in order to be replaced. A good programmer could probably factor in the various sizes of uniforms since soldiers are not all the same size and the manufacturers would likely lose money if they produced a one-size-fits-all uniform.
We could have skirmishes lasting a few hours to outright wars that go on for years. Naval battles would be different than Marine invasions – different materials, different armaments, different uniforms and buttons. Nations could be pit against nations, religions against religions, philosophies against philosophies, races against races, and all the time, nobody gets killed, no homes are bombed, children crippled, roads or bridges destroyed. The world actually prospers on the back of what it does best – disagree with one another and not agree to disagree.
And, it's perpetual. It never ends. Let's face it; the logical conclusion to War is the elimination of the other side. Once all of the other guys are dead, there's nobody left to fight, but if that were really viable, there wouldn't be wars by now because there would only be one side left. That hasn't been the case, so if we're looking at another few hundred years of war anyway, why not make it painless and bloodless.
We'd have to redeploy the armed forces into a massive clean-up service. Waste management would be a prosperous business. Someone has to mop up all that debris, but at least they wouldn't be dodging bullets.
It could take Reality TV to a new level. More interest than The World Cup. Vegas would make a bundle. You think there's a lot bet on the Super Bowl?
An old cliché would fade away. There wouldn't be any spoils, so the victor just gets bragging rights.
Morticians would lose business, though. I'll have to work on that.
I've never claimed to have all of the answers, but refuse to sacrifice my right to ask all of the questions and expect answers in return. Faith and Confidence are at a low and continue to decline. Thinking ex-pat.
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