"Well, with you being a writer you’ll probably appreciate the new icons that we’ve added to Microsoft Word!"
"Honestly, Bill, I use an old version of Word; I don’t need seventy-five icons. I’m trying to write, not to play video games. The new Word reminds me of a tricked-out low rider; it does everything. It jumps up and down, it has flashy paint, it has a funny horn, but it can’t take you comfortably from A to B because of all the gimmicks."
"Dave, I can see that you’re in need of retraining! You are stuck in the old way of thinking. Would you like a Coke?"
"Bill, I don’t think that you understand; adding more bells and whistles doesn’t make the product any better unless we need those bells and whistles. Adding them just to add them doesn’t make it better; it makes it cluttered and cumbersome. Besides, I don’t need retraining. I want the machine to work for me, not me to work for the machine."
"Dave, you don’t understand, we here at Microsoft, we are just trying to be your partner in business."
"Who said I wanted a partner? I want a servant! I want a servant that doesn’t give me crap, a servant that doesn’t remind me every fifteen minutes, when I’m in the middle of something, that there are pointless updates ready for download. A servant that doesn’t make my computer crash, a servant that is not constantly trying to sell me products I don’t want."
"Say, how about a nice, cold Coke? Or we could listen to some tunes on my Zune! Have you ever seen your house from space? We can look it up on Microsoft Earth!"
"Well, yes, Bill, I saw my house from space five or six years ago on Google Earth."
"Would you like a Coke?"
"No, thank you, Bill."
"I know, we could watch Jimmy Fallon on Bing!"
"What’s Bing?"
"It’s this great new search browser offered by Microsoft."
"Is it better than Google?"
"Would you like that Coke now?"
"Bill, I asked you directly, is it better than Google?"
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