A few years later, someone gave a little workshop at a local bookstore about racism in America. I attended and shared the experiences I had had with Leslie. When I finished, the facilitator asked the group what they thought of what I had just said, that is- if they actually believed it. One seemingly enlightened liberal couple refused to believe that a college like SUNY would treat minorities that way. Another professor of physics, from the University of Chicago, vehemently denied there was such a thing as racism at all. I finally said to the group that perhaps the major lesson I had learned was this, (and I thought this was particularly important to understand since, at the time, many liberals thought we had moved a long way towards ending much of the race issue in America): I used the example of a neighborhood shopping center, one located where I had grown up in New Jersey. I told the the group that if a black person visited the stores at this shopping center, the owners of a few of the stores might be pretty 'non-racist' and, therefore, very polite and accommodating. Another owner or clerk might be somewhat less tolerant, but not terribly put out by this type of occasional 'person' as a customer they had to serve. The next might very well be rather annoyed, but generally able to control themselves. But the chances are, that a person of color would sooner or later bump into someone who just would not be able to (or perhaps would not wish to), hide their own hatred and loathing towards that individual. So, if a person comes into contact with, say, just 10 or so different individuals per day, then their experience of overt racism would bound to be a daily, ongoing occurrence. I believe this constitutes the experience of many (probably most) blacks in America, even in places which are not generally known for racism. And, imagine how much more so this daily experience must be in places which are known to be overtly racist.
I bumped into one black member from our group later and took some solace in him saying to me that he actually could tell his black friends that he knew of at least one white guy "who gets it" (although, I'm sure he was being generous.)
After all of this, I'm ashamed to admit that, after we broke up, Leslie and I didn't stay in touch at all. She moved away and I don't even know if she eventually did graduate from SUNY.
All I can say is, I just hope she's okay....
(Article changed on July 6, 2015 at 18:22)
(Article changed on July 8, 2015 at 07:05)
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Former small business owner now retired.
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